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Kuphele ukudla emngcwaben uselaynini uzwe I EX yakho ithi

“Ngaktshela ngathi ngeke ulungelwe ilutho”



When you try to talk in a taxi and they give you a halls and
say eat this first you’ll talk after

Son: Daddy , I Fell In Love And Want To Date This Awesome Girl

Daddy : That’s Great Son , Who Is She ?

Son : it’s Lerato , The Neighbors Daughter.

Daddy: Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that , I have to tell you something son but you promise not to tell your mom, Lerato is actually your sister

The Boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son:” Dad , I fell in love again and she’s is even hotter!”

Daddy: That’s great son , who is she ?

son : it’s Busi , The other neighbor’s daughter

Daddy: Ohh I wish I hadn’t said that , Busi Makhubo is also your sister . This Went on couple of times and son was so mad , He went straight to his Mother crying 😭

Son : Mum I am so mad at dad !!! I fell in love with Six Girls but I can’t date any of them because dad is their father !!

Mum(Huge him affectionately And Says): My Love ,You Can date Whoever you want . He isn’t your father…!!!

If You Expect Me To Stay Away From Your Bae

Do It First And Show Me How To Do It, Lead By Example


Do you know that men date beautiful ladies to impress their friends and
marry responsible ladies to build homes?*

I thought you should know.


WHO KILLED SAMSON?

Delilah or the Philistines? None of these options is correct. Permit me to tell you how

Even if there were 10,000 Philistine soldiers, they couldn’t have defeated Samson. Do you know why? Samson’s strength was not of this world; it was divine. As long as no one can defeat God, no army could have defeated Samson no matter how strong or many

Samson was raised a terror for the Philistines. He killed a lion with his bare hands, lifted the gate of a city on his shoulder and walked over 46 miles; he killed 300 Philistines soldiers with a jaw bone. What if he got a spear or sword?

So, who killed Samson? The answer is Samson. Yes! Samson killed himself! A man is his greatest enemy. What an enemy cannot do to a man, he would do to himself. Samson killed himself. He delivered himself to the lap of Delilah and used his own mouth to tell the secret of his power. His life promised so much but delivered so little

The Bible says, “People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does GOD always get blamed?” (Proverbs 19:3. MSG)

Nobody can ruin your life except you do with your own hands. Although you can blame it on God or parents or government, you’re the architect of your life; you are your greatest enemy. Even if your grandparents had done any evil, until you press the trigger it won’t explode on your face

No Satan or witch has the power to destroy you no matter how much they hate you, you’re the only one who can kill yourself by your actions

When the enemies try in vain to kill you, they lie in wait and allow you to kill yourself by your actions.

Goliath, the champion couldn’t hurt David but adultery destroyed his family. The gentile nations couldn’t hurt Moses, but anger killed him. When king Jeroboam stretched his hand against the prophet, his hand dried up; he couldn’t hurt him, but his own disobedience turned him to a prey for a lion. Your greatest enemy isn’t outside there, it’s in you

Millions are killing themselves with their own mouth by what they eat and drink. Millions die of sexually transmitted diseases every year. Would you blame a witch for that?

Hundreds of thousands of divorce and breakup happen every year because people destroy their own marriages and homes with their own hands. Like Proverbs 14:1 says “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.

If you fail, don’t look far away, look inwards because what’s killing you is inside of you. What you yield yourself to will either kill or save you. If you continue yielding yourself to fornication, that’s what will kill you both spiritually or physically

Everyone has a seed of sin deposited in him through his Adamic nature. True repentance kills that seed but if you don’t kill that anger, pride, jealousy, greed, lust, it won’t just kill you in the future, it might have been killing you already. That’s why no matter how much people die of cancer and diabetics people won’t stop smoking and drinking because a man signs his own death warrant

Kill that seed before it kills you. Quit that habit, now! Because your greatest enemy isn’t a man or a spirit or Satan but you. Yes, You!
Bless someone with this message today.


8 FACTS YOU CAN NOT DENY IN LIFE!!!!!!!!
1. Your eyes are the only part that you can’t wash with soap.
2. You can’t count all your hair.
3. Your tongue can’t touch all your teeth.
4. Your feet is the strongest part in your body.
5. The fools have tried number 3.
6. You are laughing because your tongue can touch all the teeth.
8. You are laughing because you feel like God has made you look superb human being.
9. You are now happy because you didn’t realise there was no number 7
10. If you know you are not fool, then you should have not scrolled up to check number 3 and 7.
11. If you want to revenge, then do this: press Like, and
Comment,”TRUE”. and SHARE

Dear Ladies
.
U got to understand the difference between a man who
speaks to U on his free time & a man who frees his time
to speak to U.
.
U got to understand the difference between a man who
spends his time with U when he’s not too busy & a man
who’s never too busy to spend time with U.
.
U got to understand the difference between a man who
wants to see U because he misses U & a man who misses
U enough to go actually see U.
.
U got to understand the difference between a man who
tries to make an effort & a man who makes an effort to
try.
.
U got to understand the difference between a man who
talks to a lot of girls including U & a man who only talks
to U instead of lot of girls.
.
U got to understand the difference between a man who
loves to hurt U & a man who gets hurt because he loves
U.
.
And once U understand the difference, U’ll know if U are
with the right guy or not.

Wife & husband watching soccer

Wife; Swettie kanti lo ugqokeleni okungafanani labanye?
Husband: Ngukeeper olinde igedi
After 5 min
Wife: Ingani ukeeper usegijima phakathi igedi lisele lobani?
Husband: Lo ngureferee aso keeper
Wife,: Manje ureferee wenza msebenzi bani?
Husband: Nguye ocontroller igame.
After ,10 min
Wife: Hawu, ingani usemi phandle futhi ureferee?
Husband: Lo nguassistant referee kumbe ulinesman
Wife: Usefuna ukusubstituter urefferee ophakathi?
Husband: Hayi usebenzela khonaphana along the line.
After 30 seconds
Wife: Manje iflegi aseyiphakamisile ngeyaliphi ilizwe?
Husband: Yoh yoh yoh! Lamuhla ngakubona okukhulu, ngapha iteam yami iyadliwa ngapha ngibuzwa izinto ezingelangqondo!

🙌🙌🙌ukubukela ibhora lomfazi so!

I AFCON ISIFIKILE ASAZI! 😂


This winter I’m not dating anyone,
I’m tired of losing my jackets


Yazi ikudide indaba uthi uyabuza umdidi lo onguye okudidileyo laye umthole edidekile yikho lapho ozabona khona ukuthi abanye abantu ukuba ngumdidi kumbe indidane yisiphiwo strait

Xolie grew up in Mbare. She went to law school in London. After her studies she decided to go back to Harare, because
she could be a big lady there.

There she opened her new law office. The first day, she saw a man coming up to her office and decided to make a big impression. As the man came to the door, Xolie pretended to be on the phone and motioned the man to take a seat. Xolie said into the phone: “No. Absolutely no. You tell those clowns in New York that am not travelling all the way that side to settle the case for less than a million bucks. “Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear the case next week. “I’ll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.” Okay. Give the State Prosecutor my regards and …”

The visitor sat patiently as Lady X rattled instructions. Finally, Xolie put down the telephone and said: “Im sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you? “The man said: “I’m from Tel One … I’ve come to connect your phone


ADVICE FOR NYAA FROM HIS FATHER:
1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman
and she never asked you if you’re saving or
investing, and she keeps enjoying the
attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to
you, some could be a good mother to your
children but if you’ve found a woman like a
mother to you, your children and your family,
please don’t let her go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your
wife to the kitchen, where did you get that
from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands
where they worked every morning . . . that
was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of
the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if
you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let
your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will
be difficult for her to spend it when she’s
aware of the home needs and bills to pay but
if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking
even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the
pain in her body is nothing to be compared to
the wound on her heart and that means you
may be in trouble living with a wounded
woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live
a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will
soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days, we had many wives
and many children because of our large
farm-lands and many harvests, there are
hardly any land for farming anymore, so
embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did
meet your mother could be your eateries and
restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the
closet thing we did there was to embrace
each other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you
start making more money, instead of
spending on those tiny legs that never knew
how hard you worked to get it, spend it on
that woman that stood by you all along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or
whistled at the window of your mother
father’s house, to call her out, it was not for
sex, it was because I missed her so much.
Is it tru or the father was bluffing?

PLEASE WAIT!!!!
Izolo ngidlule kwiATM kunemadlana ebengiyifuna. Uma ngifika kuyo okokuqala uthi, Please insert your card. Nempela ngilifafile. Uphindile wathi please enter your pin code, nalokho, waphinda wathi select the amount, ngakwenza nalokho. Kuthe uma sengikwenzile konke lokhu wase ungivezela amagama amakhulu athi :
THE TRANSACTION IS BEING PROCESS, PLEASE WAIT…
Ngivumele ekuseni ngithi kuwe, ukholo lwakho ulusebenzisile, wazila ukudla, wakhuleka kodwa ubona sengathi akwenzeki lutho empilweni yakho. Ngithi kuwe mana ungasuki, ngoba isicelo sakho sisalungiswa, Linda. Into engenze ngalinda ukuthi ikhadi lami bese liphakathi emshinini, nePin code sengiyifakile. Uma bengingajaha ngihambe ongilandelayo ubezothola izinto zami. Hhayi ngoba umthandazo wakho ungezwakali, hhayi ngoba ukuzila kwakho kungezwakali, hhayi nhoba ukunikela kwakho kungabonakali
But ukuthi nje , YOUR TRANSACTION IS BEING PROCESS wena okwakho ukulinda.

Musa ukusola, musa ukubona sengathi wena wadalelwa ukuhlupheka wait patiently because your prayers are being processed. Ungasuki eNkosini linda kuze kulunge. Ngiyazi sekunzima, akusemnandi kodwa uma sekubuya izinto zakho uzobe usuhleka wedwa. YOUR TRANSACTION IS BEING PROCESS, PLEASE WAIT !
Kuwe kukhulu okusengenzeka, basheshe bakudela, bakulahla kanti basazokudinga. Mngane mina as Selibona Nyaa abanengi bangazi ngamaJokes kuphela kufacebook, kodwa iqiniso yikuthi injongo yami is more than that. uJesu wathi esevukile ebonakala kubafundi bakhe wabayala ukuthi benze izizwe zonke zibe ngabafundi, mina lawe silomlandu wokuhambisa umlayezo kaThixo ezizweni zonke. Abazalwane abanengi bathi ifacebook yinto yezweni. Angeke ngibaphikise but mina angivumi. Izwi leNkosi vele kumele liye kulabo abasebuthakathaka, abasesemnyameni coz yibo abalidingayo. Uyabe umgezisani umntwana nxa engaba evele e clean kanti? Omelwe yikugeza ngongcolileyo, thus y loJesu wayehamba ebonakala engena ezindlini zezoni. Kufabeook ayikho leyodwa iPost eCopyright protected, there is no copying iStatus somuntu, its SHARING.

Ma ubala this message ungakaphendukeli eNkosini azi ukuthi iNkosi isikukhethile already, kusele nje ukuthi uvume. Ngokwenkonzo yebo mina ngingumpostoli, lawe ngikubizela ekukhanyeni okunjalo, kodwa wena ma ungayithandi le inkonzo ngikubizela noma yiphi inkonzo oyibona ikulungele, as long kutshunyayelwa ukuthi uJesu uyinkosi. Okubalulekile kimi ukuthi nawe uyithole insindiso.

Ngiyakucela ukuthi SHARE this status in yo wall and sizobonwa ngabanengi engingafinyelelanga kibo mina, izwi lokuphila lizafinyelela emiphefumulweni elidingayo.

A man was walking
down the street when he was
accosted by a particularly dirty
and shabby-looking homeless
man who asked him for a couple
of cash for dinner.
The man took out his wallet,
extracted 1k and asked, “If I give
you this money, will you buy
some beer with it instead of
dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years
ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing
instead of buying food?” the man
asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,”
the homeless man said. “I spend
all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on green
fees at a golf course instead of
food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the
homeless man. “I haven’t played
golf in 20 years!”
“Will you spend the money on a
woman in the red light district
instead of food?” the man asked.
“What disease would I get for
1k?” exclaimed the homeless
man.
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not
going to give you the money.
Instead,
I’m going to take you home for a
terrific dinner cooked by my
wife.”
The homeless man was
astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with
you for doing that? I know I’m
dirty and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay.
It’s important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has
given up beer, fishing, golf and
s**