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I wish memories were like text messages.
You can delete the ones you hate
and keep the ones you like.



Whatsapp Back 2 skul
Facebook Back 2 skul
Twitter back 2 skul
Radio Back 2 skul
TV Back 2 skul
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Im even Afraid to open a fridge

Conversation between a Nigerian dad and his son

Son : dad can you please give me some cash I’m Broke

Dad : where are you son ?

Son : South Africa

Dad : open a church son

When people have something bad to say about you,
its b’coz they don’t have anything good to say about themselves.


I really can’t wait to have Twins and
name them Terms & Conditions


I wish to wish you the wish you wished to wish. But if you wish the wish witches wish, i won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.


My girlfriend asked me to pass her a lipstick
but I accidentally gave her a glue stick.
She still isn’t talking to me

Even if you are in a wheelchair, A Zulu nigga will still ask you
“hamba kanjan mf2”

Dad: Bat may pasa ka anak?
Son: Nakipag-away po ako!
Dad: Astig! Sino nakaaway mo?
Son: Si Brando po yung tambay sa tindahan.
Dad: Tara resbak tayo!
Son: Wag na dad! Nakipagbreak na ako sa kanya.
I hate him so much dad! I hate him!


“Mahirap maging babae diba ? Buwan-buwan may menstruation kayo. Kaya ginawa ng diyos ang mga lalaki.
Para patahanin yang menstruation niyo
every 9 months.”


Boknoy: Babe may tanong ako
Maria: Ano yon babe?
Boknoy: Babe takot ka ba sa ahas?
Maria: Hindi babe, bakit?
-Naghubad si Boknoy sa harap ni Maria
Maria: (sumigaw) AAaaaaaaahhhhHHHH¬..
Boknoy: (nataranta sabay tanong) Oh babe akala ko ba hindi ka takot sa ahas, bakit ka sumigaw?
Maria: Hindi naman talaga ako takot sa ahas babe eh. Pero sa UOD takot ako.

Pedi And Zulu On Metro FM
Pedi:Just wanna say halla to my Mom,Dad and also my Parents
Zulu:Holla Bafwethu you are Watching Metlo FM


Pedro: Pare, pag naliligo kah, ano unang nababasa sa katawan moh?
Boknoy: Eh di paa.
Pedro: Mali! Hahaha Kamay kaya! Syempre pagkuha moh nung tabo e masasawsaw yung kamay moh sa tubig.
Boknoy: Hinde e, paa koh talaga unang sumasawsaw.
Pedro: Hala! Ang tanga talaga oh, in-explain koh na nga e.
Boknoy: Ulul! Naka-bath tub kame!
Pedro: K.

Tatay: Bakit bagsak grades mo??
Anak: How can I pass if my teacher hates me? Para lang LOVE yan, kahit gaano ka kaseryoso kung ayaw sayo di ka papasa!
Tatay: NAKS! HUMUGOT PA ANG BOBO!

Boknoy: Doc, may problema ako, ako inom sabaw, dumi ko sabaw rin, kain ako mais, dumi mais rin. Ako kain mani, dumi ako mani. Paano yun.?
Doc: Madali yan, ikaw kain tae para dumi mo tae rin.!