You will be dating your bae nice nice then one fool will just come & give her a lift in a Range Rover Sport then she starts behaving like an Android Phone that needs Flashing.

When you are broke, no one takes you seriously.
Even dogs don’t bark at you when you pass by!!!

i havent done laundry in 6 months, one underwear last me for four days, i go front, then back and i turn it inside out then go front and back again. its called recycling

When her makeup is finished..* She starts posting things like *makeup free*. *Natural beauty*. How do I look?
If you know, You know

Girls when you visit your boyfriends. At least
buy wine and snacks.. Don’t just go there
carrying that big head of yours.

Guys There are people who are
selling fake airtime so before you recharge
just send me the voucher i got a machine
which tells whether the airtime is fake or
not

A certain family was having dinner, and their
six year old girl (Joy) started telling a story.
•°•
Joy: On my way back from school, I saw dad
with a girl…
~
Father: Shut up! Don’t talk with food in your
mouth… !
~
Mother: No no no. Let her talk…
~
Joy: Dad, you went in to the bush, I followed
you and you started kissing and
undressed her and then…!!!
~
Mother: And then what baby? Say it. I’ll get
you a bunch of chocolate …
~
Joy: They started doing what you did with
uncle Daniel when dad was not
around….
~
Mother: Shut up, your dad has told you not
to talk with food in your mouth. Stupid child.
No table manners…..!!

Since I saw my landlord’s wife coming out
of a hotel room last week she has been
bringing me food morning*, *afternoon
and evening*.
*I wonder what is her problem*

Men with big tummies,
pliz do something becoz you are confusing our kids.
Now my nephew believes that
women give birth to girls and men give birth to boys

I decided to travel to the USA
THE VISA interview went as follows at the US Embassy:

Officer : So where you going in the USA?
Me : San Jose
Officer : it’s pronounce San Hose, J is pronounced as H in the US.
Me : Oh… Okay!
Officer : How long you planning to stay?
Me : From Hanuary to Hune or Huly…😕😕

Do you think I got the VISA?

When a baby falls…
Whites: oh my baby are you ok?
Blacks : Dont look at him…he will cry.

When you’re talking to your father through the phone and
your friends starts saying ” aah aah oh yes bbe” in a girls voice