Patni :- Khidki me parde lagwa do..
Naya padosi mujhe dekhne ki koshish karta hai …..
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Pati :- Ek baar theek se dekh lene do ..
woh khud hi parde lagwa lega :p 😉

Isko kahte hai BHAYANAK BEIZZATI-
Wife – Suno G jab aapne pehli baar mera gunghat uthaya
toh kaisa mehsoos kiya??????

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Pappu – Maa kasam mar hi jata agar TV par
“Shhh…Phir Koi Hai” dekhne ki aadat na hoti………

A couple in Art Gallery saw a picture
Of a Girl coverd by leaves.
Husband keeps on watching.
Wife:Ab chalna hai ya aaandhi ka intizaar kar len :p

wife to husband:ap jab daru peeke aate ho
to muje paaro bulate ho
jab beer peeke aate ho to darling bulate ho
aj kya peekr aaye ho ki muje chudayl bula rahe ho
husband::::: aj m sprite peekr aaya hu isliye
SIDHI BAAT NO BAKWAS

Wife on call:”hey baby, what r you doing.. ??
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Husband:”office me bohat kaam hai bus nipta ke aata hu…and u
sweet heart.. ??
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wife:”mai club me tere piche khadi hu…:p :O 😀

Husband aur wife mein baatcheet band thi,
subah husband ko jaldi jaana tha..
usne raat ko paper par likha,”mujhe subah 5 baje utha dena”
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aur paper wife ke takiye ke paas rakh
diya.. .
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Subah 8 baje jab utha to dekha
uske upar bahut saare paper pade the aur sab par likha tha,
“uth jao 5 baj gaye”,
“pls. uth jao, warna late ho jaaoge”..:P

Wife (seeing stars): btao wo
kaun si chiz hai, jo tum roz dekh
sakte ho par tod nahi sakte.? .
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Husband: nahi mai nahi
btaunga. .
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Wife(smiling): nahi btao na plz. . .
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Husband : Tera muh …xd

Man got a call from unknown number..
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Girl:” Hi, r u single.. ??
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Man:” Yes, but who r u..??
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Ans:” Your wife.. Aaj ghar aana tab
bataoogi..
Another call from unknown number..
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Girl:” R u married ??
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Man:” Yes, but who R u..??
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Girl:” Your girlfriend, U cheat!!
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Man:” Sorry baby, I thought it was my
wife..
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Ans:” Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar
aaja..

Ek Baar Santa Ke Gaanv Mein Ek Minister Aya Hua Thha
Logo Ne Apne Gaanv Ko Sudhaarne Ke Liye Kayi Cheezo Ko Maang Ki
Santa Bhi Bola: “Hume Apne Gaanv Mein Pul Chahiye”
Minister Hairan Hote Hue: “Par Tumhare Gaanv Mein To Koi Nadi Hi Nahi Hai”
Santa: “To Fir Hume Nadi Bhi Chahiye“ 😀

संता :– कौन सी कास्ट ( जाति ) के लोग अच्छे नागरिक होते हैं ?
बंता :– बनिए ……!
संता :– वो कैसे..?..
बंता :– हर जगह लिखा होता है, देश के अच्छे नागरिक “बनिए” ! देशभक्त “बनिए” 😛

Santa -Jab bhi wife mera photo apne mbl se click karti hai
mujhe bahut dar lagta hai……..
Saala aaj kal OLX aur quikr ki advertise bahut aati hai na 😀

Santa Ne Ghar Ke Uper Wale Hisse Mein Paint Kiya
Aur Neeche Wale Hisse Mein Likh Diya
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“Same As Above 😛

Doctor: Tumhare Kaan Kaise Jale?
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Santa: Main Kameez Istari Kar Raha
Tha, Ke Phone
Aa Gaya.
Maine Jaldi mein Phone Ki Jagah
Istari Kaan Mai Laga Li
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Doctor: To Doosra Kaan Kaise Jala?
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Santa: Ab Ambulance Ko Bhi Phone
Karna Tha Na. lol 😛

Yar, ajkal Main boht Pareshan hon.
Nend nhi aati..
Sukon nhi..
Kisi kam men dil b nhi lagta..
Doctor ne mujhe kaha hy Ap ko,,,

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Vitamin”SHE”
ki kami hay…

1st woman-kuchh suna ya nahi
bharat ne hindustan par hamlakardiya hai
2nd woman- hame dar hai ki kahin ek missile
mere pe nagir jaye
3rd woman-arre tumsab fikra kyon karti ho
hum india me rahte hai.

Santa: Interview kaisa hua?
Banta: Thik hua yaar,
par aakhir mein woh angrezi me kuchh bola…
“Show me your testimonials.”
Santa: Toh Phir?
Banta: Mujhe lagta hai ki main galat
cheez dikha ke aaya hoon… 😀