If you see me talking to myself, walk away Am self-employed
we’re having a staff meeting.

Guys can I please have the Spelling of “Wansa” As in like Wansa Upon a time

My boss thinks I am a fool.
Yesterday he sent me to buy 2kg of sugar but I only found 1kg at the shops so I didn’t buy.
I went back to the office & told him that they only had 1kg. Very pissed at me, he asked me why I didn’t use my brain and buy two 1kg packs to make a total of 2kg.
Today he sent me to buy a pair of Size 8 slippers but I only found Size 4. This time I used my brain and bought 2 pairs of Size 4 to make Size 8. I took them to him & he told me to wait outside.
I can see him typing.
I guess it’s a promotion letter

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
“Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat”

Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*”You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,”*
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.

The next day in class he posed the following question:
“Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?”

Without hesitating, Mandela responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
“I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”

Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, *”Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”*

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela’s exam sheet the word *”IDIOT”*
& gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,

“Mr. Peters, *you signed your name on the sheet*, but you forgot to give me my grade.”

Don’t mess with intelligent people….pass it on to your intellectual friends….

I don’t know who needs to hear this,
but you don’t need to eat everytime you go to the kitchen

Once a guy starts liking your posts & pics plus the ones uploaded 11yrs ago just wait for him in your inbox, He’s coming to interview you

It’s now 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing has changed.
Maybe it’s time I go there personally and find out what’s wrong

A mentally retarded man stole a cellphone from a shop. He was caught but the owner of the shop decided to let him keep it, after all, the mentally challenged gentleman would not know how to operate the complicated handset. However, something funny happened as the the mentally retarded man pressed the phone, it did not respond. So, he continued pressing, pressing and pressing …. *Read more*

When are banks going to have special like
“withdraw R1500 and get R500 free

My girlfriend said “She wants Breakfast in bed”
Today I almost broke my back ,Carrying The Stove to my Room