No one would tell you to leave your Man faster
than that one friend that struggles to get one..!

Is it in inside already?
Yes, it is!
Are you feeling pains?
Yes!
Should I remove it?
No!
So, do you like it?
Yes, I love it!
Those shoe sellers and their lengthy questions.

Mr Price clothes are very nice but the problem is that you will be wearing that item with 800 other people.

The traffic cops notice a car being driven erratically up ahead and when they draw near they see the driver clattering his dog on its head. They pull him over and the lead cop goes up to the car and says ‘Not only am l booking you for driving without due care and attention, l’m also booking you for cruelty to animals.’ The bloke says ‘lf you knew what this dog had done you’d give him a clout as well’. ‘Why?’ says the cop ‘ What’s he done?’ The bloke says ‘He’s just eaten my licence and insurance.’

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

“If I do 200Km/h, will you take off your clothes?” he asked.

“Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

“Go and get help!” he cried.

“But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!”

“Take my shoe”, he said, “and cover yourself.”

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!”

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, “There’s nothing I can do…he’s in too far.”

Top 10 Female rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.

2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.

3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: I don’t want to be seen in
public with a dork like you.

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I’m busy seeing other guys.
Who are you again?

5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Translation: I’d rather be with my male cat
and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.

6. I don’t date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn’t date you if you were
in the same solar system, much less the
same building.

7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: It’s you.

8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.

9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I’ve sworn off men like you.

10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I
can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I
meet and go out with. I appreciate the male
perspective.
–
–
–
Top 10 Male rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a sister.
Translation: You’re ugly.

2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: You’re ugly.

3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: You’re ugly.

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: You’re ugly.

5. I’ve got a girlfriend.
Translation: You’re ugly.

6. I don’t date women where I work.
Translation: You’re ugly.

7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: You’re ugly.

8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: You’re ugly.

9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: You’re ugly.

10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: You’re totally ugly.

Some of you put on too much make-up, we should just compliment your make-up manufacture instead of you. “You look good today AVON”

I owe MTN R15 airtimenow they’ sent me an SMS saying’ recharge with R20.00 and win a carso” they think I’m stupid

Pain Of Deleting A Nice Conversation Because You Are Dating A

Detective

Bank queues are so long, you will shela a Girl,
go on a date, fall in love, fight, make up and fight again and break up
before you get to the ATM

Once she says “You’re my favorite couple”….just know she
wants your man

Struuu bob

I have made a lot of mistake in my life
but I have never left a wedding ceremony
without eating.never

I told Sam not to sing..

unfortunately SAMSUNG