At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
*The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor*.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom’s men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
*The woman replied, “I can’t hear from the back.*”

1.Wife : “why r u home so early?”�

Hubby :
“My boss said go to hell!”

2.Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she’s out of town

3. Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

4.No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in neighborhood

5.Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

6.Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

7.It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

8.Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

9.Q- You know why women love shoes?
A- Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit..

10. Q- Why can’t Women Drive well?
A- Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

11.Q- Why can’t Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no Shopping Centers..

12.Q- How to save a Dying Woman?
A- Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

13.Q- If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
A- Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..

14.The woman who invented the phrase “All men
are the same” was a Chinese woman who lost
her husband in a crowd.

15.There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have
girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what
happened=))�

16.Wives are
magicians. ….. . . . . . . . . . . They
can change anything into an
argument

17.Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY? A very INTELLIGENT man
replied: Women don’t have a wife!
True or false?

One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT?!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on
the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.” She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which
one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each
outfit.”
We went on to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She
was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know
how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s
fine, honey.” She was so excited.
Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, “I
think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch
with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?

Nyaa was the boss and he interviewed 4 girls for a Secretary position.
He asked them same question. And the question was: “A woman has lips in two different places on her body, what is the difference between the two lips?”
1st Girl: “One is hairy, the other isn’t.”
Boss Nyaa: “Ok, Good!”
2nd Girl: “One can talk but the other can’t.”
Boss Nyaa: “That’s better…”
3rd Girl: “One is vertical and other is horizontal.”
Boss: “Hmmmm…Very clever!”
4th Girl: “One is for me to use and the other is for my boss.”
Boss Nyaa: “100% correct. You can start work right away’

interviewer: we were paying our previous employee R15000 for that job because he has more experience , so Mr Skebhe how much you expecting us to pay you
Skebhe :oh R25000 mhlonishwa
Interviewer : why you asking such a big salary because you said you don’t have any experience
Skebhe : well job is more harder when you don’t know what you are doing

One day, three girls went swimming in a nearby dam. They undressed and went on with their business.
Twenty minutes later,Skebhe came and stood next to where they left their clothes.
The girls said, “what you doing here, if You are here to see our private part you wasting your time, because we won’t come out until you leave
Skebhe replied, Im here to warn you fools, before the crocodile bite you all
The girls jumped out of the water!
Skebhe : yah Bosso who’s watching your private parts now, you idiots

Good morning all singles…….! The rest will get your good morning from your boyfriends/hubbies or girlfriends/wives.

Put more jackets singles its cold and
make yourself warm and fat with clothes😂

Never ever allow your boyfriend to put a girl as his Whatsapp, Facebook, Imo, Instagram profile pic and write RIP. It might also mean ‘Relationship In Progress.’ Dont trust these guys….
they have got their own special and cleaver tricks.