Whites: I’m the breadwinner at home :*
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Blacks: Badla mina, bakaka mina, bagqoka mina, basuza mina ubabona nje bazamula mina
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UMoyo loNcube bahleli ngaphansi kwesihlahla,uMoyo aqale indaba:. Uyazi Ncube kithi eFilabusi kwakekwabanjwa umlamba oyi100 metres, athule uNcube laye adubuke ngokuthi kithi eNyathi kutholakale iskepe esasetshenziswa kuworld war 2 lokhu silayithile. UMoyo athi lawe lapha usufake isawudo kakhulu.uNcube abesesithi ndoda lawe yehlisa amametres akho lami ngibesengicitsha amalayithi
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To all my haters, remember, its mind over matter:
I don`t mind & you don`t matter.
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The only time a man can truly remember all the girls he has slept with,
is when he is waiting for his HIV TEST RESULT.
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Dear Nguni people when you say ”izolo”
do you mean yesterday or insangu???
Yours MoNgwato
PHUTHI
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HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT PARTS OF SOUTH AFRICA.
Scenario 1:
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That’s Polokwane.
Scenario 2:
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles.
Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in Cape Town, with dem coloured okes.
Senario 3:
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up.
That’s Durban.
Scenario 4:
two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a stand to sell tea and Magwinya.
“Welcome to Joburg”
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A man is sitting next to a woman in who’s trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus.
The baby refuses to suck the breast & the mother warns, “If you don’t suck, i shall give it to the uncle next to me”.
The baby still refuses.
After about 20 mins, the woman repeats the ‘threat’.
The man clears his throat & says,
“Look, madam, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off six bus-stops ago…
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Poor Old Guy
A man in his 50’s buys a beautiful pair of shoes on his way home from work. When he gets home he asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says no. At bed time he gets completely naked except for his new shoes and again asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says well let’s see you’ve got the same old useless cock hangin limp as usual.
He says look at where it’s “pointing”. I bought new shoes!
His wife then says “you should have bought a new hat!
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WOMAN’S TEARS vs MAN’S
TEARS.
Ungalokothi ukhalise
umuntu wesifazane ngoba
akukho okubiza
njengezinyembezi zomuntu
wesifazane. Uma unyembezi
olulodwa luphuma
emehlweni, luhlangana ne-
LOREAL EYE LINER (ebiza
R115) kanye ne-REVLON
MASCARA (ebiza R185), bese
zehla njalo ngezihlathi
zihlangane ne-D & G blusher
(ebiza R150) kanye ne-MAC
powder (ebiza R95).
Ekugcineni izinyembezi zifike
ezindebeni zakhe zihlangane
ne-MAYBELLINE Lipstick
(ebiza R120) kanye ne-
lipgloss yakwa-AVON (ebiza
R35). Lokhu kusho ukuthi
unyembezi lulunye lubiza
R700! Ngakho-ke PLEASE
ningalokothi nikhalise
umuntu wesifazane.
Uma ukhalisa umuntu
wesilisa, unyembezi
luhlangana novaselina
wohlobo lwe-Cocoa Butter
(R19) kanye ne-ZAMBUK (R5)
, uma sekukonke kubiza R24
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if your wife doesn’t reply to your “I LOVE YOU” txt ,mphinde ngeyokuthi WRONG txt 😕😕😕😕😆lapho yikho obona khona ukuthi eyakuqala ubeyibonile
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Banyana bao berekisa VodaFone why di selfie tsa lena okare bale tshetše ka flouru?
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Ukuth umuhle akusho
Kuth umnandi🍆🍑
Mntaka gogo
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Inhliziyo Yami Ibuhlungu 💔 Sengathi Ingquza Yengane YaseMlazi
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iPerfume yePLAYBOY
KwaNongoma ibhalwe,
‘DLALA MFANA’
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Ukjola Nomuntu Wakwa Zungu Ezinye Zezinto Ezidala IsiZungu Kwi Relationship
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Isikhathi esiningi leGeñge edlala uMasķandi eskoleni iyona lephinda ama class.
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