After sex🍆🍑….

Girl: babie i need iphone 7 or samsung galaxy s8 edge….

Me: it was just sex so stop acting like you gave me your kidney!!!

😂😂😂men can be rude sometimes

When you ask her to send you nudes
then you see her “typing”..

Humans are two types🙈:
men👦 and women👧,

Haha thanks

Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room, right before their little son.
Daddy : ” Oh!!! You Bitch! ”
Mommy: ” What?? You Bastard! ”
Son : ” Daddy, Mommy, what’s Bitch and Bastard?” At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : ” It means Ladies and Gentlemen, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
2nd Scenario…
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex, and there they mentioned the words ‘breasts’ and ‘penises’. Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : ” Mommy, what’s breasts and penises? ” At this moment, Mommy turned blue, and quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy: ” It means coats and hats, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
3rd Scenario…
Daddy was shaving his beard and Son passed by the toilet.
Suddenly, Daddy cut himself and screamed…
Daddy: ” OH SHIT!! ”
Son : ” Daddy, what’s shit? ” At this moment, Daddy’s eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to say.
Daddy: ” It means shaving cream, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
4th Scenario…
Christmas is approaching, and Mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove. The turkey just wouldn’t fit into the stove, so she said…
Mommy: ” Oh FUCK! ”
Son : ” Mommy, what’s fuck? ” At this moment, Mommy froze.
She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy: ” It means stuffing, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
5th scenario…
It’s Christmas eve! Little Son exuberantly opened the door to let all his uncles, aunties, cousins and friends come into the house.
Proudly, he said…
Son : ” Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches! Please put all your breasts and penises at that corner of the house! My parents are busy at the moment. You see, Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs and Mommy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen, but don’t worry, they’ll be out here in a minute!”

Guy hey babes hw r u?
Girl: gnu
Boy: am gud tnx
Girl: k
Boy: swity I hev a Q
Girl: wat nw?
Boy: wher r we?
Girl: Zimbabwe
Boy: no I mean me n u, who r we?
Girl: two Zimbabweans!

APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER.

FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN HAND WRITTING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS.

I, _____ , hereby apply to marry your beautiful daughter Sir. I am ___ years old.

Please answer the following questions honestly.

1. Do you go to church/mosque? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma? Yes/No.
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No.
4. Are you working? Yes/No.
5. Do you have a car? Yes/No.

If your answer to any of the above questions is NO, do not continue & quietly leave my house. Don’t look back as you walk out. If all your answers were YES, then you may continue.

1. In 50 words or more, describe the disadvantages of cheating in marriage.___________
2. With the aid of a diagram, explain how you can give respect to your father/mother in-law.
3. Suppose your wife says, “honey, I need money for my hair at the saloon”, what would be yo answer?______
4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
______________
5. What does the term ‘good husband’ mean to you? _____ _________
6. Do you have both yo mum & dad? Yes/No. If No, explain why?
7. Were your parents legally married? Yes/No. If YES, for how long? If the time of their marriage is less than your age, explain why you were born out of wedlock.
8. Explain the meaning of ”COME HOME EARLY” as used by married women. (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to sleep outside his house.
10. In case of divorce, who do you think is the owner of the kids between father and mother?

Answer the following by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No.
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No.
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No.

LAST PART, BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

1. When can you be free for interviews?
________
2. When can be the best time to interview
your dad?_______
3. When can I interview your mum?
________
4. When can I interview your church pastor/mosque imam
5. Please stick your passport size photo below, which will be put in all the daily newspapers for 1 week to cross-check if you have other girlfriends or on wanted list by Victim Support Unit, Zambia Police or other law enforcement agencies.

Sign here: _____
Sign again: ____

Thank you for showing interest in my daughter. Your application will be processed in 1 year and six months time. You will be acknowledged only if you emerge successful.

As you wait for my response, please don’t call me, or visit me, or contact my daughter, you will be disqualified automatically. Leave your details below in case I need to ask you more questions.

Postal Address: ________
________
Email: _______
Phone: ________
Facebook name: _______