There’s nothing in this world irritating like dating a police officer. 😂 😂 😂
.
Sometimes when you wake him/her up. He/she would be like, “Hands up. You have a right to remain silent”

How to turn a girl on:
•°•
1. Lip biting
2. Ass grabbing
3. Having her against the wall
4. Kissing her neck
5. Teasing her
6. Love bites… The list continues
____________________
How to turn a guy on:
•°•
1. Touch us anywhere even our shirts

Father: Dude, why did you break up with her? She was a good woman..!?
•°•
Son: She’s a murderer, she killed a spider in my room. How can I date someone who ruined my chances of becoming spiderman..

Just Because you’re In A Relationship doesn’t mean
you’re taken.
We can still take you or Borrow you..

Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”:
•°•
ONE☝, Is used when answering calls📱.
◽
TWO✌, The other one at home 🏡 when
she is talking to her siblings👪 (Her Original Voice) ®
◽
THREE👌, Is used when she’s talking to her “Bae”

Fat girls will be like: “I don’t like picmix”
Ahhh my sister we all know that you don’t fit in the frame

Two friends were walking home and a Lady happened to be Blowing a Kiss 😘 to one of them…..from the window of a Single Storey building.

1st friend:
Man, it looks like that Babe is
Blowing kisses at me…

2nd friend:
Guy leave her alone,
Don’t pay any attention to her.
(Then the lady signalled 🙋 to Him to come)

1st friend:
Man the babe is calling me!

2nd friend:
My friend, Don’t go.

1st friend:
Why would you ask Me not to go
When a fine Babe like that is calling me?

2nd friend:
Pal, l’m begging you,
Please Don’t go, please Don’t go

The Friend ignored Him…
And went over to the Lady,
She went to meet Him
And they both went upstairs.
Suddenly as they were about to have Fun,
They heard a Car honking.

Lady: (on opening the window)
Hell ! That’s my Husband!!

1st friend:
Shit! I’m in Trouble!!

Lady:
Don’t worry, just pretend
Like you’re the Laundry man
And iron these Clothes,
Pointing at a heap of Clothes.

The Guy spent the whole Day…
Ironing clothes because
The Husband never left home that day.

The next day he went over to his Friend’s place

1st friend:
Pal, can you believe that it was
Clothes and Clothes l ironed
Throughout the day yesterday.

2nd friend:
But I told you not to go.
All those clothes you ironed,
l WASHED THEM THE PREVIOUS DAY !!!

Men will be Men

If Zimbabwe did it , why can’t Malawi Did it ,why can’t Mozambique did it. then in the end everybody will did it.
Actually me i didn’t did it

What is confusion 😖❓
.
Confusion is when you steal meat 🍗 from the pot🥘, and you forget whether the spoon 🥄 was on top or inside the pot..

A Girl’s Favorite Line When She’s Angry: “Don’t Touch Me”

Being ugly doesn’t mean you should
remain indoors. Move out you might be
featured in a horror movie

Teacher: Okay, class. Pass your drawings.(A boy passed a blank paper)
.
Teacher: Huh? Where’s your drawing? What did you draw?
Boy: I drew a cow and grass.
.
Teacher: Where’s the grass?
Boy: The cow ate it.
.
Teacher: Where’s the cow?
Boy: Banna, kanti why would the cow stay there when it has nothing left to eat

Cheating was all fun and games until
girls started to cheat too.

Those trucks which deliver petrol are not guarded
when they are not moving around😐
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?