Relationship stress will make you ask your parents why they are still together after all those years

Gents
If a girl refuses to reply your messages on Messanger,
just go to her timeline and post
“Thanks for the night”
And wait for her in your inbox, she’s coming

if a guy text you to come and meet him at home my sister quickly switch off ur phone remove the battery and throw ur sim card away

Main Chicks don’t Comment On Their Man’s Post Or Pictures. They Monitor The Comment Section And Screenshot The Suspicious One For Verification

I’m single because i want something real
not some 2 week bullshit

University is tough, she laughed at me for repeating clothes
now she is repeating modules

A girl who want flowers must plant them herself.
We are not garden boys

*I found a guy today drinking his beer at 6:30 am.*

*I asked him: “Isn’t it too early for you to be drinking ?”*

*He replied: “Ooh really, at what time do throats open?”*

*I walked away…*

*Now minding my own business…*

Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn’t a Fireman called a Water-man?

– How come Lipstick doesn’t do what it says?

– If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

– If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

– How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

– Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

– Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

– Why do doctors ‘practice’ medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

– Why is it called ‘Rush Hour’ when traffic moves at its slowest then?

– How come Noses run and Feet smell?

– Why do they call it a TV ‘set’ when there is only one?

– What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

GIRL: I want to show you something.
BOY: Okay.
GIRL: Can we go inside the bedroom?
BOY: (excited) sure, we can.
GIRL: Can I switch off the light?
BOY: Go on.
GIRL: Can I close the curtains and
windows?
BOY: (very excited) Fast!
GIRL: Can I lock the door?
BOY: Wow! Yea immediately!
GIRL: I’m done, come closer.
BOY: Here I am (this will be amazing).
GIRL: “I want to show you that my
watch has a light, you can use it to
check the time in darkness.”

Girl: Baby I am wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, I want more than that
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby I want sumthing big and round
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?

Three little kids are arguing in the playground over whose father was the fastest.

(A) The first kid says, my dad is so fast he can shoot an arrow, put his bow on the ground, chase the arrow and catch it before it hits the target.

(B)The second kid says, my dad is so fast, when he goes to bed at night and turns off the light, he is in bed before the room gets dark.

(C) The third kid says that’s nothing…… My dad works for the local council, he is so fast, that when he knocks off work at 3:30 pm he’s at home by 3pm.”

Who is the fastest?

A soldier ran up to a nun out of breath he asked:” May l hide under your skirt”? I’ll explain later.
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, Have you seen a soldier? ”
The nun replied:”He went that way”
After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,”I can’t thank you enough sister. You see l don’t want to go to war to Iraq.
The nun replied:”I understand completely.”
The soldier added:”I hope I’m not rude, you have a great pair of legs”
The nun replied:”If you had looked little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls! !!
I don’t want to go to Iraq either! !!

“A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.
-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know… “��

*Girl*_ : _I’m leaving you coz you focus too much on football 😤😤
_*Boy*_ : are you leaving on loan or full transfer ?