ladies be like:
I love the woman I’m becoming

after buying One Pair of Heels!

They way some girls love Guys with cars,
they can tell which car you Drive from the
sound of your keys in your pocket…

A friend said to me “I really want to go to medical school, but it takes at least seven years–and I’ll be 50 in seven years!”
I said “And how old will you be in 7 years if you don’t go?”🤷🏿
It’s never too late to start chasing your dreams.

When I was growing up, I used to think
people with E-mails are Rich!!

13 Year old girls be like “I need a man who….”
Lol😂😂😂 No No No, Baby girl, the only man in your life should be
SpongeBob SquarePants now go finish your Homework.

Grade 1 : I wanna be a Doctor
Grade 7 : I wanna be a Pilot
After grade 12 : Please download my tracks guys support local artists

Her : Unlock Ur Phone
Me : So U Want Us To Break Up Just Like That

The day i decided to quit Instagram was the day
I realised this app is for people who bath everyday

I didn’t have a problem with foreigners until
they started selling fake and expired foods😏
I really wanna know why they risking
our lives with poisonous foods.

I dont mean to brag but my bank says
I have ‘an outstanding balance’!

Who is more stupid?
1. A Ugandan man who waves at
A
newscaster while watchin tv,
2. A Nigerian nurse who wakes
up a
sleepin patient to give him sleepin
pills bcos she 4got to give him
3. A Kenyan man who goes to a
bank with a spanner to open an
account,
4. A Southafrican man who puts a
radio in a freezer to listen to cool
music,
5. A Tanzanian man who lowers
de
volume of a radio to read a text
message,
6. A Zimbabwe man who puts
perfume on his body to snap a
picture.

*Have u ever been so broke and then yo girlfriend visits. U decide to buy her a drink…. U go 2 the shop with two bottles, buy one Fanta and fill the sprite bottle with water so that u may keep her company as she enjoys yo last coin. And when u get back to the house she says “Baby serve me sprite its my favorite” 😳🙆🏽‍♂. My brother u will feel the symptoms of ebola

A pilot was told to transfer mad people from Naija to U. S. A . he agreed and carried dem in his plane.
Every place was so noisy.
Later one of the mad men approached the pilot and said; “pls can u teach me how to fly the aeroplane”?”
The pilot replied, “I will teach you how to fly if you will tell your friends to stop making noise.” (knowing that he can’t do it).
The mad man went in, after some minutes, every where was silent as if an angel entered the plane.
After some minutes the mad man came back and told the pilot that everywhere was cool now.
The pilot became happy and asked; “What did you do to them that made them to keep calm?”
The mad man replied, “I opened the door for them to go and play outside.”

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their
bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front
of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as she steps into the room, “Why
are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee,”I am just remembering when we
first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember
back then?” he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so
sensitive.
“Yes, I do.” she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes, I remember!” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues,“Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said,’Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jailfor 20 years?”
“I remember that too.” she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says,”I would have been released today.”