Stop posting your problems on facebook and
start drinking alcohol just like the rest of us🙌

If you’re arguing with your girl and she says,
“So let me get this straight”
she’s about to mix up everything you just said..

I have realised that Brazilian hair is not meant for every one. 😂 😂 😂
.
Because some ladies are looking like poor Somalians.
Whereas others are looking like divorced Indians.

Its shocking what people are doing these days.
Yesterday in church the guy seated next to me
lit a cigarette during praise and worship.
I was so shocked I almost dropped my beer! !

Her: what do you do for living babie😘?
Me: my brother is in America

Parents:
.
.
Please start painting houses now cz when you paint around December we get lost when we are drunk

Thank God i Just Bought iPhone 8 Charger Today,
I Will Buy The Phone By Next Year

That moment when you send your boyfriend your picture
without make up and he’ll be like “lmao Who’s this Babe”..!!

i Was So Sad On Saturday i Was Watching “Sarafina” On My Hospital Bed 😢 , I’m Discharged Today 😁 .. i Can’t Wait To Go Home And Watch “Anaconda” 😠 i Wanna See White People Getting Swallowed By A Snake To Feel Better 😥

is Your Mom Even Your Mom if She Doesn’t Walk into Your Room
To Stare At You , Then Walk Away ?

Did you know that there’s someone who always looks at your pics & Be like
“One day you gonna be mine “

Don’t Let Nobody.. I Mean Nobody Tell You, You Ugly.😕
You Probably are👊, But Just Don’t Let Nobody Tell You..”

When You Text Someone Out Of Boredom
And They Leave You On SEEN

i Don’t Have Time To Tell The KFC Cashiers To Bring Me The Best Pieces Of My Choice ,
So i Just Let Them Bring Whatever
Coz I’m Used To People Disappointing Me

Having A Bae On Facebook is Hard😥 …
You’ll Comment On Another Girl’s Pic And
She’ll Like The Comment ,
Just To Alert You That The “FBI” is Here 😂

Am i The Only One Who Can Cancel Plans
Just To Stay Home And Do Nothing ?