Depression starts when you want an iphone and
a Brazilian while you’re unemployed

Introducing your female friends to your boyfriend is like displaying different kinds of meat to a dog…
My sister it will eventually eat them all.
Are we together?

The level of makeup experience that Shoprite girls uses is amazing
Today i saw one girl painted her lips with a eyebrows and her eyebrows with a Lipsticks

The level of makeup experience that Shoprite girls uses is amazing
Today i saw one girl painted her lips with a eyebrows
and her eyebrows with a Lipsticks

After being dumped!!
White girl : My bf has dumped me.😭😃
Black girl: I choose happiness. Am the CEO of my life.If it doesn’t kill u,it makes u stronger.I love the woman am becoming.When bad people leave ur life, good things starts happening. I Am crushing on myself. Self love🙆‍♀️😃

Donald Trump wanted to paint the white house.
.
He calls for quotation… Chinese guy quoted 3 million, European guy quoted 7 million and a African guy quoted 10 million.
.
Trump asked the Chinese guy “How did you quote 3 million?” Chinese guy replied “1 million for paint, 1 million for labour and 1 million profit”.
.
Trump asked european guy.
He replied-“3 million for paint, 2 million for labour and 2 million profit..”
.
Trump then asked the African guy. He replied “4 million for you, 3 million for me and we will give 3 million to the Chinese guy and ask him to do the painting ☺!!”
.
The African guy got the contract.
So how many likes for Africans guy ??

Brothers, please pray for your mothers.
Only few girls want their mothers in laws alive

Valentine is around the corner.
Surprise your side-chick/girlfriend by introducing her to your wife😂

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end.

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

YAWN:
The only opportunity some married men
ever get to open their mouths.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the EIFFEL TOWER, says midway:
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterward.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills with pills and later with his bills.

There are some girls who have their own boyfriends but they ask for airtime from other girl’s boyfriends.
My question is have you ever seen workers from Pick n Pay getting their salary from OK?🤔

AFTER DIVORCE WIFE SENDS HUSBAND A MESSAGE:*
*WIFE:* Sorry to inform you that the daughter you kept for 20years is not your daughter.
*HUSBAND:* Thank God am free coz I was guilty thinking I was sleeping with my daughter, please tell her to come back home.
*Who was hurt most????

If you wanna see that a gal has energy, try to remove her trouser when she knows she is wearing a torn underwear

*Ladies if you pay rent alone
but your man comes over ,
walks around naked ,eats all your food.*
*That’s not a* *man ,that’s a rat !*