If you hear your pastor saying “am not going to preach for long”, just cancel all the the plans you had after church

Since the day I caught my landlord banging his neighbours wife,
I ‘ve not been paying rent for 6 months now

Your girlfriend want you to buy her an expensive weave
on Valentines day because love is in the hair😍

You’ve not met crazy people until you meet someone
who says “lol” in real life

A child was born and he was very dark and ugly.
Angels gave him wings and the child softly asked: ‘Am i a fairy?’
and the angels replied : ‘ Nigger please, you are a Bat!!!

People with iPhones can’t send music. They just send a screenshot of them listening to the song. What must we now do? Beatbox!?😒

Wife: I am the book of your life…
Husband: Yes exactly you are right…
If you were a calendar of my life,
then once a year I’ll change it.

Just because I am a man doesn’t mean
I should be able to kill a snake.
My sister, I can scream louder than you.

*Family crisis is when u discover that the father that fathered your father’s mother is not related to your sister’s cousin’s brother…*
–
*Are u getting it?*

The way I’m Afraid of People
I don’t think I’m gonna attend my Wedding

There’s someone out there who thinks
your Ex is normal and loyal just imagine

Being broke is tough..
I once bathed with sunlight liquid.
Went to town and it rained,
there I was, covered in bubbles in front of everyone 😣