Wife : Honey can you you please help me clean the garden ?

Husband: Do I Look like a Gardener?

Wife : Sorry Honey , Ok then fix the bathroom door

Husband: Do I look like a Carpenter?

Then The Husband walks out , After coming from where he went,
he found the garden Clean and the door fixed

Husband: I knew my wife you can do this all by yourself

Wife: its not me

Husband: who then ?

Wife: John our neighbour

Husband: How much did you pay him

Wife : No money, he just give two options . Bread or S*x

Husband: I hope you give him bread

Wife: Do I look like a baker ?

Husband: (Fainted)🤣😂

Surprise Your Boyfriend Tonight,
When He Texts You ” Good Night Babe”
Reply “She is Asleep Bro”
Then Switch Off Your Phone

You can’t sleep with the guy for the first then do women on top
even at work you don’t start by being a CEO…

I’m looking a lady to marry ,I had a wife ,she was lazy .
I asked her to count my money and she ran away.

THREE BENEFITS OF CIGARETTES

1. Smokers don’t grow old!

2. Smokers can not be bitten by a dog!!

3. Smokers cannot be attacked by thieves while sleeping.

WHY NOT?
1. Smokers don’t grow old because they will die young due to lung damage, as warned by the Ministry of Health.

2. Smokers won’t be bitten by a dog simply because when their lungs are damaged they have to walk with a stick every time. And dogs fear people with a stick in their hands.

3.Thieves cant break into the house of a smoker at night because smokers are always awake coughing!

If you like these three benefits, keep smoking or start smoking!

On my first year I met this other beautiful Christian girl dressed up in a very short dress.

Nerio: Hi my name is NeRio, do you mind if I walk you down to your room?

Her: No Dear , I don’t mind at all !!!! 😘 😘. Please do me the honour.

I was so excited that I met a phenomenal girl. When I got to her place, I hugged her and she felt my “D” jumping, kicking off so she smiled and laughed at me then she softly said to me “Matthew 7 verse 7”

I deeply paused, my “D” turned off immediately. I was so damn embarrassed and she noticed I was embarrassed so she said, don’t stress about what just happened, a thing like that happens when a boy is with a girl but you should really go read your Bible. She looked very disappointed in me when she said that.

I walked to my place very slow and disappointed. When I got there I put a pot on the stove to cook my evening meal and I sadly opened my bible, paged it.
Matthew 7 verse 7 “Ask and it will be given to you”

I kicked off that pot with a boiling water and burned my foot. 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 Damn I tell you guys, it’s important to read a bible sometimes

They drop their phones in the toliet, put it in their rice container and
then invite you for dinner

I’ve just blocked someone for
correcting my English and it feelded so good

To Get Rich in Mzansi, You Need To Go To School, Get A Degree, Then Put Them ASIDE And HUSTLE Like A DROPOUT

Today my mother In Law gave me a tea to drink then she winked at me.
Yaz Ive never been so scared like this to drink tea.

The Reason Why I Don’t buy Pizza Is That There Is No Gangster Way Of Holding The Box, You Will Always Look Like You Made It In Life

After 2 missed calls
Whites:Hey Bbe call me bck when you get this.love you
Blacks:Have a nice life

My ex-girlfriend tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends
I was terrible in bed😭
Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.

When I Wake Up I Just Grab My Phone📱
I Don’t Even Check If I’m Alive Or Not