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Die Sar

I am apply to my job of security guad to you boss in your company of foset. I complete to std… 7 extermination certificate in 1997 during voting that year. My skool Uzumba high school very good. I am 27 years to be born of age and no waif and no childish. My father is left long time ago and my mother is marry in Mateblelend there 10 ears now. So nobody known to help me. My certificate is just sitting home for itself but pass English and fail Shonar and mathematics because of Ndlovu teacher teaching me is jealous of myself. Me wear expenses watch and clothes than ndlovu teacher.

I hear you people want security guards to your company. I tell you am on job experience for 2 ears, me watch Rambo one and two. I can chase a thief. I am red for intefiew with you. Thank you sar. Please, also great your waif.

Yours, in peace:
Nyaa..



Some Parents You Can Never Joke With Them.
Me: Ereng Mother’s Day Mo Ngwaneng?
Mama: Ngwana Ke Mmago

Some people gossip too much
They end up telling u what u told them


At my funeral take the Wreath off my coffin and throw it at the crowd,
the one who catches it is next.

To all those Girls I ignored when I was In a relationship I would like to apologise
😭😭😭
I’m sorry the devil was using me!


Stop Complaining about fake friends. You are old now. Go to work, stay at home, eat, watch TV, read a book and sleep.
You will never hear rumours that the fridge and microwave were gossiping about you.


When a nigga say “find me a girlfriend” he talking about you😂

Y’all females slow!

Your successful friends have information that can make you successful too,
the problem is who will carry their coolerbox when you become successful.


You loaned your friend R4000 last year June, since then he/she refused to pay which deteriorated the friendship. Yesteday you beg him/her to just pay you R2000 and forget about the rest because you are having financial emergencies.
Your friend then say he/she can only give you R1500 that’s all he/she have. You feel like you have no option but to accept. You give him/her your account details so that he/she can send directly to your bank.
You wake up this morning , check your account there is R15000 in it. You keep staring at the screen it is indeed R15k. You grap your phone you find 50 missed calls from your dear friend and a text begging you to transfer back R13500 he/she only meant to send R1500 and accidentally added 0 .
So what are you going to do?
1. Send back R13500?
2. Take your full R4000.?
3. Keep all?


An old granny 🤶 complaining to someone about her health. she says, “I have sugar,water and high pressure in lungs 😢…..
Other person respond, “now all you need is a tea bag to make a cup of tea


SIKUJWAYELE LOKHU NJENGABANTU ABAMNYAMA:

1. Silobole kuphele 5 years, umshado dololo.

2. Abazihluphi nge-divorce, they just separate for the rest of their lives.

3. Bahlezi be-late emasontweni, emsebenzini and everywhere else ngaphandle uma kuyiwa ebumnandini, especially when “Club entry is free before 11pm.”

4. I-Diabetes siyibiza ngoshukela.

5. I-toothpaste yonke ekhona ibizwa nge-Colgate.

6. Ubathola be-driver imoto etown, ivuliwe amawindi ngisho kuthiwa liyana ngoba befuna ukubonwa or umuntu abamaziyo khona bezombingelela.

7. Emicimbini baswenka beconse khona bezobukwa, kodwa abafiki nazipho (presents).

8. Umndeni nomndeni kuba khona isihlobo esine-criminal record.

9. Uma befa bashiya izikweletu, engabe bashiya amafa.

10. Uma bephukelwe yifriji balenza ikhabethe.

11. Uma begugelwe yiphentihosi balenza iduku.

12. Ushaye u-callback uthi ungibhazile.

13. Ugugelwe yithawula ulenze isikorobho.

14. Isitsha se-Rama siphatha ngaso ukudla emsebenzini.

15. Steelwool senziwe u-cricket.

16. Umbhede usekwe ngezitini.

17. Ibhodlela le-mayonnaise siliphendula ibhodlela likasawoti kumbe lika-curry powder.

18. Sigeza sizikhuhle ngesaka lama-orintshi.

19. Ama-corn flakes kuthiwa ama-Kellogs.

20. RSVP, asiyazi leyo nto. It’s either siyafika or asifiki, usuyobona nawe.

21. Sithenga izicathulo ezibizayo bese sihlobisa nge-cardboard lakhona.

22. Container ye-yoghurt 1kg uma isiphelile sifaka kuyo steelwool, skirpoto nensipho yokugeza izitsha.

23. Isaka lempuphu liphenduka ivovo lokuvova utshwala besintu.

24. Isigubhu se-Powerade siphatha ngaso i-juice esikoleni. (Phika phela)

25. Isigubhu sika-2 litha we-juice/wamasi sifaka kuso imbiza yokuchatha.

26. Uma kuphela impuphu sibiyele ingadi ngesaka lempuphu.

FAKA OKWAKHO NAWE SIHLEKE SONKE

I Was Embarrassed When My Boyfriend Said Babe Get Ready because
I Want 3 Children, 4kids , 3 Boys , 2 Girls , 5 Sons And 3 Daughters

TO ALL THOSE WHO SAID THEY ARE GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT THIS YEAR
WHERE ARE YOU😅
HEY!!!DON’T SCROLL DOWN I’M TALKING TO YOU