Husband And His Wife Were Having Dinner At Fancy Restaurant 😊💝🔐
As The Food Was Served
Husband Said:” The Food Looks Delicious, Let’s Eat ”
Wife :”Honey…You Say a Prayer Before We Eat At Home”
Husband:” That’s At Home Sweetheart…Here The Chef Knows How To Cook ”
Wawufuna ukufundela ukuba yini empilweni bengakakuthakathi?
*U think you are someone’s full chicken only find out you are not even a neck, you just nails
They call you heartless but you have a heart and
I love you for being ashamed to show it.
Tuning out the world regularly –
To go spend time in silence, or in a quiet place,
is sacred and a part of self-care.
From His Death Bed
Husband (Called His Wife And Said) : “One Month Before I Die I Want You
To Marry Gift ”
Wife:” Gift !!! But He Is Your Enemy !?”
Husband:” Yes ,I Know That !!! I’ve Suffered All These Years So Let Him Suffer Now “.
Technology Sucks 🤣🤣
A Wife Doing Her Make Up Early Morning Straight Out From Bed!!
Husband: Are You Crazy !?👿
Wife : Just Shut Up, I Need To Unlock My Phone. its On Face Recognition Feature And It Is Not Recognizing Me …!!!
Husband: 🤣😂🤣
Before you search for love. Search for the one who will believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself. The one who will stand by your side through your downs and be proud of your simplest achievements. The one who knows you’re not perfect but still treats and loves you like you’re a miracle.
Dad: Who do you like more ,Mum o Dad?
Son:Both
Dad:Ok if i go to America and your mum goes to Paris ,where will you go.
Son: Paris.
Dad: Dat means you like your mum more? Son:No ,that means i like Paris Dad: Ok if i go to Paris and your mum goes to America ,where will you go?
Son: America.
Dad: (Angry) Why! ?
Son: ‘cos l’ve been to Paris before. Dad: (angry) when did you go to Paris ? Son : in the first question you asked.
One word for the boy?
A New Metal is added to Chemistry:
Name: WIFE
Symbol: Bv
Atomic Weight: Light when first found… tends to get heavier over the years with time.
Physical Properties :
– Boils at any time
– Can freeze at any time
– Melts if treated with love & care
– Very Bitter if Mishandled
Chemical Properties :
– Very Reactive
– Highly Unstable
– Possess Strong Affinity towards Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards, Debit cards & Cheque books
– Money Reducing Agent
Occurrence :
– Mostly found in front of the Mirror.
Please circulate to all scientists & non-scientists.
A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because everything God does is perfect, no mistakes. One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king, the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn’t prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if God was good, I would not have been attacked and lost one finger. The servant replied, ‘despite all these things, I can only tell you that God is good and everything He does is perfect, He is never wrong’. Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant. While being taken to prison, he told the king again, God is Good & Perfect. Another day, the king left alone for another hunt and was captured by savages who use human beings for sacrifice. On the altar, the savages found out that the king didn’t have one finger in place, he was released because he was considered not “complete” to be offered to the gods. On his return to the palace, he ordered the release of his servant and said; My friend, God was really good to me. I was almost killed but for lack of a single finger, I was let go. But I have a question; If God is so good, why did He allow me to put you in prison? His servant replied; My king, if I had not been put in prison, I would have gone with you, and would have been sacrificed, because I have no missing finger. Everything God does is perfect, He is never wrong. Often we complain about life, and the negative things that happen to us, forgetting that everything happens for a purpose. God knows why you are reading this message today, please bless someone with it by sharing it. God is good and perfect!!
May someone shout “Amen” if you are inspired by this message.
Yazi ikudide indaba uthi uyabuza umdidi lo onguye okudidileyo laye umthole edidekile yikho lapho ozabona khona ukuthi abanye abantu ukuba ngumdidi kumbe indidane yisiphiwo strait.
Dating a slender is big problem,
Yesterday we had an argument that she ended up
sleeping on Ironing board*
*A man can stay with an unemployed wife for twenty years and still be happy.*
*But if a woman works for five days the whole community will know about the unemployed husband.*
A Zimbabwean policeman stops at a ranch in rural Mvurwi and talks with an old farmer.
He tells the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.’ The old farmer says, ‘Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.’ The policeman verbally explodes saying,
‘Mister, I have the authority of the State with me.’ Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his ID. The policeman proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this ID? This ID means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’
The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the police running for his life and close behind is the farmer’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The police is clearly terrified. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..
“Your ID! SHOW HIM YOUR ID!”
A horny guy when proposing to an ugly chick be like:
“I hate to say this but I love you..!”
