It doesn’t matter if you don’t drink alcohol and smoke
you also gonna die you healthy bastards
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I gave up on English the Day I realized that “manslaughter” is not the sound a Man makes while Laughing..
A woman called the police station
one evening
and said, “My husband has gone out
with a
girlfriend and right now am going
after them . I
have a gun and when I find them, I
will kill both
them right away “. The police
asked, “Where
exactly have they gone ?”. Woman
:They went to
watch a certain Comedian show .
The police
rushed quickly and went to the
place and make
sure they arrived earlier than the
woman . When
they reached the place , they took
the mic from
the Comedian and start announcing,
“If there is a
married man here and has come with
a
girlfriend ,you must leave
immediately. Your wife
is coming right now with a gun to shoot
both of
you dead “. The police were
surprised that the
door became small as everyone was
running out
and the show ended because even the
Comedian
himself ran out
I only want one girlfriend but if God gives me Five,
Who am i to say no?
Keep On Forgiving Him while You Are still Looking for Someone to Replace with
You are bathing and someone mistakenly open your door,,*
*what will you hide,,,,,,,*
*Me::i will hide my soap
I need 100 Rappers Khona Ingoma engfuna siyshaye ezodlala 2wks 10hrs and 11 Seconds
I deleted all Eminem’s song’s even my mother
doesn’t shout at me like that
Women: Communication is key!👌
Men: What’s wrong babe?🤔
Women: Nothing GOODNIGHT!
Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the
water. As the temperature of the water rises, the frog
will adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog
will keep on adjusting with increasein temperature.
Just when the water is about to reach boiling point,
the frog will not be able to adjust anymore… At that point the frog will decide to jump out. It will try to
jump but it will not be able to do so, because it has
lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water
temperature… Soon it will die.
What killed the frog? Many of us would say the
boiling water. But the truth is that what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump
out.
We all need to adjust with people and situations, but
we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when
we need to confront/face. There are times when we
need to face the situation and take the appropriate action. If we allow people to exploit us physically,
mentally, emotionally or
financially, they will continue to do so. We have to
decide when to jump. Let us jump while we still have
the strength. PROVERBS 22:3 (NIV)
“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the
simple keep going and pay the penalty.”
Stay blessed and like Jesus Christ is Lord for prayer and inspiration. Have a blessed dae!
Z’hlobo zami ngithanda ukubonga uJehova ngoba amakhaza angiflce sengiqedile iSyllabus yokugeza umzimba Wonke. KuJune noJuIy ngizobe ngenza nje ama revision Iapha nalaphaya, ngigeza ubuso nenyawo nokwesula amakhwapha!”
पहले पांच भी छोड़ना मुश्किल था,🤔
अब नौं हो गए !
काम, क्रोध, लोभ, मोह, अहंकार
facebook , whatsapp , Instagram और telegram !!
Musa worked at a meat distribution factory. One day, when he finished with his work schedule, he went into the meat cold room (Freezer) to inspect something, but in a moment of bad luck, the door closed and he was locked inside with no help in sight. Although he screamed and knocked with all his might, his cries went unheard as no one could hear him.
Most of the workers had already gone, and outside the cold room (freezer) it’s impossible to hear what was going on inside. Five hours later, whilst Musa was on the verge of death, the security guard of the factory, eventually opens the door and saved the life of Musa. Musa then asked the security guard how he got to show up and open the door, as it wasn’t part of his work routine. His explanation: “I’ve been working in this factory for 35 years, hundreds of workers come in and out everyday, but you’re one of the few who greets me in the morning and says goodbye to me every night when leaving after working hours. Many treat me as if I am invisible. Today, like every other day, you greeted me in your simple manner ‘Hello’ at the entrance when resuming for work.. .But curiously, after working hours today, I observed I’ve not heard your ‘bye! see you tomorrow’.
Hence I decided to check around the factory. I look forward to your ‘Hi’ and ‘bye’ every day. To you, I am someone.
By not hearing your farewell, I knew something had happened. Then I Sought and found you!
“Moral Lesson to reflect upon:..
Be Humble, love and respect those around you.
As life is too short! Try to have an impact on people in ways we can’t even imagine, especially the people that cross your path every day!!!
POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE Personality:
1. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don’t over do; keep your limits
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Umona
US’thole kwakuyindoda ezihluphekelayo. Kwathi ngolunye usuku yakhetha ukuthandaza.
Ithi “Nkulunkulu ngiyahlupheka ngicela ungiphe nje okuhle.”
Nangampela uzwakale umthandazo wakhe kuNkulunkulu.
Amphendule u Nkulunkulu athi, “Cela noma yini oyifunayo, kodwa yazi ukuthi kukho konke ozokucela, ngizonika nomakhelwane wakho kuphindwe kabili.
Avume uSthole
Nangampela acabange ukucela imoto, abuke ukuthi umakhelwane uzoba nezimbili. Ayeke!
Acabange ukucela ibus, abuke ukuthi umakhelwane uzoba namabili.
Ayeke!
Acabange ukucela uR5 million we lotto, abuke ukuthi umakhelwane uzoba no R10 million.
Ayeke!
Athule, ecabange ukuthi angacelani nje.!
Abe esethi “Nkulunkulu ngicela ungikhiphe ihlo ( iso )elilodwa. Ezwakale esethi usuyokwenza njalo ke nakumakhelwane.
Ngikhuluma ngomuntu onomona akakwazi ukucela into ezomsiza ngoba ubheka ukuthi nomakhelwane wakhe uzoba nakho. Uncamela ukuphuma iso ngenxa yokuthi nomakhelwane awakhishwe omabili awakhe amahlo.
Akaphumeleli umuntu onomona kunalokho ulahlekelwa ilokho anakho.
Qaphela umona shlobo sami namhlanje!
Ungahlali nale msg idlulisele nakwabanye.
Ubaxwayise ngomona ungasizakali wedwa ngoba wangaydlulisa uzobe unomona sengzohlala phasi ngdedele ofakazi wangafakaza ngalendaba kyobe unomona ngcela inkosi ibusise enikzwile amen
Ameni
*SEKE MAN IMPREGNATED 4 MEMBERS OF THE SAME FAMILY.*
A man shocked the residents of Seke when it was discovered that he impregnated 4 members of the same family.
Melinda Mukuyu, a married woman, her young sister and two of her daughters are said to have been impregnated by a local business man a Mr Foster Chiwanda.
There was drama in the area when the husband to Mukuyu requested to know who was responsible for her pregnancy because he had been away on fishing for some few months. This is when it was discovered that Mr Chiwanda had hit the jackpot and the sister also came up and said she was equally pregnant for the same man.
Then the daughters also confessed to seeing the said man and they too were pregnant. This got out of hand especially that one of the girls was just 15 years old. The husband then dragged the wife and the daughters to Mr Chiwanda who upon seeing them, he decided to leave the place but it was a bit too late for him because a lot of people had joined got hold of him.
As a first slap landed on him, he knew he had to save himself and he broke loose and ran for his dear life. One eye witness said he heard Mr Chiwanda saying ” ! ” (We are the only remaining real men, these others are just examples of men.)
Residents chased him behind with whatever weapon they could get hold of. As one man was about to catch him, he jumped and to the amusement of everyone, he started flying.
It was at this moment when my brother woke me up and said go and bath will be late for work..
Will tell you Wat happened next when I sleep tonight and have a continued dream.