Rich having a convo with his crush😉
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Rich: Hi☺
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Her: hi, how was u doing?😮
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Rich: Im fine…😀
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Her: where did u born?😑
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Rich: where did i born? How?😨
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Her: Don’t be stupid😐…where did u borned yourself?😠
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Rich: Come again😯
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Her: which come?😟
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Rich: I mean repeat again😕
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Her: I said where did your borning begin?😠
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Rich: Im confused😐
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Her: Jeez! OK! Born! Born! Your mom’s bottom drop u out u cry “Nywe Nywe Nywe”😢…Place! Where your mom borneth u!😠😠
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Rich is still looking for a safe place where he can faint
Sub Categories
TASYO: San gnagawa ang uling?
KULAS: Sa coal center!
KULAS: Ano twag sa yaya ni Nora?
TASYO: Maid of Aunor!
TASYO: Ano ang mas malaki pa sa CITY?
KULAS: Utsu!
KULAS: Ano tagalog ang street?
TASYO: Diritsu!
KULAS: Anong hayop ang walang gilagid?
TASYO: Hmmmmmm Lang gum?
Taong grasa: Palimos po
Studyante: Umiinom ka? Nagyoyosi?
Taong grasa: Hindi po
Studyante: Sugal, Drugs?
Taong grasa: Hindi po, wala po akong bisyo.
Studyante: Tara sumama ka sa akin.
Taong grasa: Aampunin nyo po ba ako?
Studyante: Hindi, papakita ko lang sa mama ko kung anong mangyayari sa mga taong walang bisyo.
Sa text
Unknown: Hi musta na ?
Boknoy: Hu u ??
Unknown: Huh ? Hindi moko natatandaan?
Boknoy: Kaya nga hu u diba ?
Unknown: Ako to si Melba. Yung ex mo?
Boknoy: Ahh bakit ka nag chat? Pipilitin muba akong makipag balikan sayo? Tapos pag umoo ako iiwan mo nanaman ako at sasaktan? Sorry huh, pero ayuko na sayo!! Ang kapal rin ng pagmumukha mo noh.
Unknown: Aahh he he . Hindi naman sa ganun. Iimbitahin Sana kita sa kasal ko. Yun lang sige bye.
Isang araw naligaw si Pedro at Juan sa isang gubat at nakaramdam sila ng pagkagutom ng may tinig silang narinig.
“KAYONG DALAWA DUMAMPOT KAYO NG MALAKING BATO..”
Kinuha ni Pedro ay malaking bato. Samantalang si Juan ay maliit palibhasa tamad nga.Nagsalita ulit yung mahiwagang tinig.
“KUNG GAANO KALAKI ANG BATO NA NAKUHA NYO YAN ANG TINAPAY NA KAKAININ NYO…..”
Badtrip si Juan.Nagsalita ulit yung mahiwagang tinig.
“DUMAMPOT ULI KAYO NG MALIIT NA BATO”
Knuha ni Pedro ay maliit na bato. Samantalang si Juan ay malaki ang kinuha kasi nabitin sa pagkain. Sabi ng mahiwagang tinig…
“IHAGIS NYO ANG BATONG HAWAK NYO……………KUNG ANO ANG LAYO NG BATONG HINAGIS NYO ITO ANG MAGIGING HABA NG BUHAY NYO”
Badtrip na talaga si Juan. Nagutos muli ang mahiwagang tinig…
“KUMUHA ULI KAYO NG BATO PERO NGAYON DALAWANG BATO”
Kumuha si Pedro ng dalawang maliit na bato. Samantalang si Juan ay nag-isip. Di mo na ako magugulangan… Hehehe… Kumuha si Juan na isang maliit at isang malaking bato… Ano ka ngayon sabi ni Juan…
Nagsalita ulit ang mahiwagang tinig…
“KUNG ANO ANG SUKAT NG BATONG HAWAK HAWAK NYO YAN ANG MAGIGING SUKAT NG ITLOG NINYO!!
Galit talaga ako sa nag sisimba lang
pag may kain sa simbahan!
nasa pagkain ba ang panalangin?
Boknoy: Mommy angel po ba c yaya?
Mommy: Hindi anak bakit?
Boknoy: Kasi po nakita ko si yaya sa may bintana sabi niya “oh my god, im coming im coming” gusto na niyang lumipad kaso hawak siya ni daddy sa buhok , pinipigilan pa niya.
Mommy: Ganon ba nak, mamaya paliliparin ko na silang dalawa.
may tatlong kaluluwa na halos sabay sabay namatay at isa-isa silang ininterview ni San Pedro para malaman ang sanhi ng kanilang kamatayan at para malaman din kung saan sila ididistino.
SAN PEDRO: ikaw? ano ang iyong ikinamatay?
LALAKE 1: pag uwi ko po galing trabaho nakita ko ung asawa ko na hubat hubad sa kama.
nagkalat ang kanyang saplot, may mga damit din po ng lalaki at alam kong hindi yun sakin kaya nagalit ako ng sobra at sa selos ko binuhat ko yung cabinet at inihagis sa bintana. inatake po ako sa puso at namatay after.
SAN PEDRO: ikaw ano ikinamatay mo?
LALAKE 2: napadaan lang po ako sa kalye para bumili ng ulam ng biglang may nahulog na cabinet at tinamaan ako sa ulo. ayun namatay po ako.
SAN PEDRO: ganun ba? (kumunot ang ang noo at sinipat c lalake 1)
ikaw naman anu kinamatay mo? (naka taas ang kilay ni San Pedro sa lalake#3 dahil sa hubat hubad ito)
LALAKE 3: ahmm kasi po san pedro AKO PO YUNG LAMAN NG CABINET.
Once an old man spread rumours that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested.
Days later the young man was proven innocent. After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In the court the old man told the Judge:
“They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone.”
The judge told the old man:
“Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Tear it up on the way home and throw away the pieces. Tmoro, come back to hear the sentence.”
Next day, the judge told the old man:
“Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”
The old man said:
“I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.”
The judge then replied:
“The same way, simple comments may destroy the honour of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”
*”Let’s all be masters of our words rather than being slaves of our words.”
Soon after S**, the guy was tired and the gal said, I guess u are a ANC member…
Astonished the guy asked, ‘How did u know???’..
The lady said, “It’s becoz u promise a lot but do nothing…”
When you are bored just think about a few things that don’t make sense …like ;
🤔
1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
🤔
2. Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
🤔
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
🤔
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?
🤔
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
🤔
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
🤔
7. The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”
🤔
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
🤔
9. If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.
🤔
Wisdom will kill me one of these days.
If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back,
come to me. I’ll tell you more.
Never trust a person with one only facebook picture.
If nothing lasts forever, I was wondering if you might wanna be my nothing?
Indoda engela mali uyibona ngokuzamula iphume inyembezi.
Did you know that in every WhatsApp group there are these characters
👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽
I. Amawuwu🐞🐞🐞🐞- laba ngababhowa ukubabona be-typer.
2. Impukane 🐜🐜🐜🐜- Balomsindo,abathuli….,ubingelela njalonje,morning morning. …
3. Impethu🐛🐛🐛🐛- ungambona etyper, wobakwazi yi nonsense yodwa ebhalwayo,uhlalengotshingayo-normally sends boring chats without respondents.
4. Ofudu🐢🐢🐢- laba yibo abahlekiswa yi-joke yayizolo ekuseni, yilaba abafowada indaba zelast week or last year ebesethi nginikani izando zami.
5. Ingulube🐖🐖🐖- laba ke yibo o-‘kikikikiki’ akula abakubhalayo okulengqondo.
6. Amagundwane🐀🐀🐀🐁- laba ngabangafuni ukuthi abanye bechaze umphakathi wegroup,uyahlohlela eyakhe ijoke eyakho ingakahlekwa.
7. Omalandelela🐾🐾- laba ngabamelela ukuthi abanye beqale becommente then labo sebelandela khonapho-Yibo oAmen🙏
8.Amaxoxo🐸🐸🐸- laba bayabhowa, baposta kanye ngenyanga.Ulast seen wabo ngowelast month.
9. Impankwa 🦎🦎- laba ngabakhatheleyo nje-2 minutes sephumile egrupini,2minutes later secela ukubiselwa.
10. Ubunyonyo🐜🐜🐜- laba ngama P.H.D (Permanent Home Dweller)bahlala besegrupini.Always on line, akula okubakhuthayo and akula abanga-commenti ngakho.
11. Izipoki👻- laba benza ingani abakho vele, okwabo yikubala kuphela okupostwe ngabanye,abayenzi even u’kikikikiki’ .Babona igroup njengeLibrary.
12. Ama bhoza 🤴🏾👸🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽💻👩🏽👩🏽👩🏽💻ngama group administrators bahlezi beqaphele sonke isimo kuma groups 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽
Ngabe wena ume kuphi lapho