Remember, there are two words in life
that will open a lot of doors for you.
Push and Pull.

When you’re good, you’re good,
when you’re awesome you’re me.

The only reason I am fat is because
a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

When I hear myself eating crunchy food,
I wonder if other people can hear it too.

Some people feel shy taking a taxi
to town because they own cars on
facebook

Family crisis is when u discover that the father that fathered your father’s mother is not related to your sister’s cousin’s brother…
–
Are u getting it?