Am i the only one who closes whatsapp so fast
when i see someone ‘typing’?..
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You call her chocolate but all we can see is beefstock..
आजकल लोग नफरत भी डिजिटल करते हैं .
सामने वाले को ONLINE देखते ही
खुद OFFLINE हो जाते हैं.
Guro:why are you absent?
Juan:mam meron po akong
CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE.
Guro:cge nga spell mo ang sakit mo.
Juan:joke lang po.UBO lang po talaga.
WHISPER AT PALMOLIVE.
JUAN;hi ma
MOTHER:kamusta ang test..
JUAN:yun ma parang whisper
MOTHER:anong whisper..
JUAN:nonononono check✅
MOTHER;hay naku buti pa si pedro naka check kahit Palmolive..
JUAN:anong Palmolive ma??
MOTHER:ganito kasi sinabi ni Pedro..”CHECK SA PALMOLIVE CHECK ANG HAIR KO ALL DAY LONG LASTING BANGO”.
If you are happy in relationship
it means you are a side chick bcoz
main chick never sleep in peace my sista
If God wanted your girlfriend to have Brazilian hair
she would have been born in Brazil.
My brothers let’s not confuse our ancestors.
Don’t rush into another relationship after a breakup. …
.wait for at least 15-20mins
” I was hanging out on streets
smoking some dope weed around
23:30. I decided to go home but it
was far and there were no taxis at
that time of night. I decided to
walk while hiking rides. It started
to rain and suddenly a BMW
stopped by my side I quictly
jumped into the passenger’s seat
and close the door then of started
moving and as i was about to say
” thank you” to the driver, i
discovered that there was no body
in the car. I started to freak out
but was so scared to jump out of
a moving car. When the car got to
the bend,a hand came thru the
window and turned the steering
wheel, this happens twice then the
third time i totaly freaked out
screaming ran for my life, I entered
the nearest bar downing two milk
castle stout and still telling ghost
storie to those who cared to listen.
3 guys walked in the very same
bar all drenched in rain water, one
of them said Nok’s isn’t that the
mad person who enterd the car
while we were pushing it?
A Son decides to admit the father in an old age home as desired by his wife (the daughter in law).
He brings his father in the car to an old age home run by a Catholic Priest.
The receptionist gives diff choices like TV, AC , Veg etc. But his Father disagrees to any.
Son goes out to bring luggage from car. The wife goes up to check whether all was fine. And also insists her inlaw need not come home even for festivals .
Then appears this elderly Priest, who came out to have a long chat with the old man. Son wonders and asks the priest whether he knew his father before since they were talking as though they knew each other.
The Priest replies..yes. He came here 30 years back and took with him a very sick orphan boy who everyone else rejected for adoption. This man gave that boy a home and saved his life. He told us “this little boy deserves better, I’ll dedicate my life to make him the wealthiest young man when he turns 25” Then the priest said …I don’t know how long you’ve known him but I can tell you he is a good man.
The boy fell on his knees and begged the old man for forgiveness. The old man looked at him with a smile and said “son I’ve forgiven you. You threw me out of my own home bcos of your wife. Take the house, but know that I’ve removed you from my documents as the sole heir of my empire” I’ve willed all my properties to this orphanage where I now belong.
* Dont pay those who helped you when in need with evil when you find your feet*
Boko haram members entered a church while the service was going on. They asked the ushers to close every door and windows so that nobody can’t escape. They counted the number of worshippers and they were 150.
They told them they would kill100 out of these 150 members but in an alphabetical order of names, starting with the pastors. They approached the senior pastor asking: what’s your name?
pastor said Zechariah Zwingina.
the next pastor said Zebedee Zaccheus,
the third pastor said Zemmanuel Zwiliams.
They approached the elders.
The first one said Zarepath Zolomon.
The next one said Zalade Zomorin.
The next one said Zetunji Zolusegun
Zesther, Zimilehin.
They approached the choir and the first chorister out of fear pointed to the organist and said his name is Abraham Ahmadu.
The Organist screamed, he is a liar. My name is Zabraham Zahmadu.
If you were in the congregation, what
will be your name?
Having an EX as your friend is like using a sugarcane as a walking stick. Once you feel thirsty you will eventually chew it.
A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said ” you look cute.. I like you.”…. The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said “My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Pls go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life.”
He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said ” I have written some words of wisdom and bible verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep.” And then he walked away.
The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus: “Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Any way, this is my number. Call me anytime…… By the way, I like you too!”
CURRICULUM VITAE OF SELIBONA NYAA
Surname : Nyaa
Name : I said Nyaa
Date of Birth : 27 Years
I.D no : N/A
Sex : 6 Times a day
Marital Status : H I V Negative
Race : I hate Racing
Health : I’m fine , thank u n u ?
Home Language : I am in Zulu
Other Language : Mgosi
Hobbies : Dogs
CONTACT DETAILS
Postal Adress : Eskoleni nxt to Mahlongo’s Tarven
Highest Grade Passed : Standard 1
Year Obtained : 1987
REFERENCES
Name of Person : Sibusiso Dlomo
Position : Generations
Relationship : call Mfundi Vundla
Makula/indians dont waste time. They send a friend request to a girl…if she is delaying to accept, they inbox her “helo babie” sametime they will send 🍆 and ask do you like it😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Makula are the best
Naw’jola nam, ng’cela uve ungkhumbuta kuze ngingakhohlwa