A Rich Woman Stops On A Traffic Signal And A Begger Come To Her For Begging.

Woman Confused: “Arrey, I Have Seen You Somewhere.”

Beggar: “Madam, Don’t You Remember? I Am Your Friend On Facebook.“

Girl Friend: “My Heart Is Like A Mobile And You Are The SIM Card”

Boy Friend: “I’m Very Happy”

Girl Friend: “Don’t Be Too Happy, If I Get A New Offer, I Will Change The SIM Card“

My female neighbour has a new boyfriend and
from what I heard last night,
his name is either ‘OMG’, ‘Awwww baby’ or ‘**** me hard’!!

Teacher: “If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: “Seven Sir”

Teacher: “No, Listen Carefully. If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: “Seven”

Teacher: “Let Me Put It To You Differently. If I Gave You 2 Apples, And Another 2 Apples And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2,How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: “Seven!!!”

Very Angry Teacher: “Where Do You Get Seven From”

Very Angry Pappu: “Because I Already Have One At Home“

In 2019 your Ex’s are going to carry your coffin…
we tired of caring meat we didnt eat

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”

This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.”

The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!”

This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”

This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”

This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

Sir Lesley: owk class, I want to see how creative you are; write a statement and put “Green, pink and yellow” on it
.
Sylvester: all the fruits that are Green, pink and yellow got the Same vitamins
Jabu: mxm, girls from hammanskraal are like chameleons, they got green eyelashes, pink mouth and yellow Neck
Admin : my phone was ringing saying “Green” “Green”, so I went there to Pick it up and say ” yellow!!”
One work for Admin

Sipho was not feeling well so he went to see a doctor. After the examination, this conversation ensued:
Dr “I have some bad news for you and you not gonna like it”
Sipho “Ok, whats the bad news?”
Dr “You are dying…”
Sipho “What?!!! So how long have I got to live?”
Dr “10!..”
Sipho “10 What, years, months?”
Dr “9!”
Sipho “What?!!!”
Dr “8!”..

Peanut butter can be so violent😒…
it tears the the bread slice when you spread it
and It chokes u to death when you eat it😨

Doctor: “I Regret To Tell You That You Have A Brain Tumor”

Santa (Jumps In Joy): “Yesss”

Doctor: “Did You Understand What I Just Told You?”

Santa: “Yes Of Course, Do You Think I’m Dumb?”

Doctor: “Then Why Are You So Happy?”

Santa: “Because That Proves That I Have A Brain“

You guys Lie Too much
.
You said Yesterday it was BlackFriday.
.
N I was the only one wearing All Black

– I’m About To Drink WOOLWORTHS WATER 🔥😋 ,
i Can Already Hear My Accent Changing