Death: Pedro I’ll take you.
Peter: don’t be right now, I’m still busy.
Death: di pwede yun, you are the 1st in the list of die.
Peter: Okay, I’ll finish it first, I am making you a coffee. (Pedro put the coffee. When death was asleep, Peter deleted his name in the first list and put in the latest. )
Death: so much baby I sleep. Because well you deal with me, I’ll start with the latest list.
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Juan: Bakit may tali ka sa paa?😐
Pedro: Gusto ko nang mamatay😷, magbibigti nako!
Juan: Bakit sa paa😑? dapat sa leeg!😏
Pedro: Sinusubukan ko sa leeg kanina, kaso hindi ako makahinga eh
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Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang breeze at tide, bubula kaya?
Misis: aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bakit naman?
Promoter: Dahil walang tubig.
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Kid: yaya look boats!
Yaya: those are not boats ,they are yacht
Kid: yaya spell yacht
Yaya: you’re right, they are BOATS
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Even when you expect things
They still hurt when they happen
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Ipinatawag ng hari ang lahat ng kalalakihan para mamili ng karapat dapat na mapangasawa ng kanyan anak.
Hari: naghanda ako ng isang pagsubok para sa kung sino man ang mapagtatagumpayan ito ay sya ang mapapangasawa ng kaisa isa kong anak.
(Isang swimming pool na puno ng mga buwaya)
Hari: ang kung sino man ang makakatawid ng buhay dyan sa swimming pool nayan ay maari ng pakasalan ang anak ko at bibigyan ko pa ng kahilingan at pamamanahan ng ari arian.
Unang lalaki lumangoy at tumawid —-patay
Pangalawang lalaki lumangoy at tumawid —-patay
Nagtinginan ang lahat at tahimik na nakikiramdam kung sino ang susunod.
—Ilang minuto ang nakalipas nagulat ang lahat kay PEDRO
Mabilis na nakatawid sa swimming pool na puno ng buwaya.
HARI: Magaling Pedro,dahil dyan ikaw ang may tapang na maaaring maging asawa ng aking anak, bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan, ano ang iyong nais?
PEDRO: Isa lang po ang aking kahilingan..
“Gusto ko lang po malaman kung sino ang putang inang tumulak sakin”.
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Anong ayaw na ayaw na kanta ng Centipede?
Ano?
I have two hands, the left and the right..
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Nakita ko si Emma Watson kanina. Napatalon ako sa tuwa. Paglapit ko tang*na nauntog ako.
Salamin lang pala
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Elepante: Uy Camel? Bakit nasa likod yung dede mo?
Camel: Napakagandang tanong mula sa Elepanteng may titi sa mukha.
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Good morning.
Start your day with a smile & lots of joy in your heart.
Be positive that everything will be ok and full of happiness.
Have a wonderful day 2 all
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Boy : where are you going now?
Girl : for suicide..
Boy : then, why so much make-up?
Girl : you idiot.. tomorrow my Photo will come in newspaper
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the most beautiful people you’ll ever meet aren’t always the ones who catch your eyes first. No, the most beautiful are the ones that can never be figured out. The one you could talk with for many hours and still have a million things to ask. The people who have mind so lovely and special, you can help but fall in love with them.
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Pursue your dreams without considering people! People will tell you you can’t do something just because they themselves think they can’t do it. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and believe in your dreams!
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“Be grateful for what you have now. As you begin to think about all the things in your life you are grateful for, you will be amazed at the never ending thoughts that come back to you of more things to be grateful for. You have to make a start, and then the law of attraction will receive those grateful thoughts and give you more just like them.”
― Rhonda Byrne
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Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right, Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it.
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You are where your solution is. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. It is not abnormal; it is rather a way to become absolutely normal. Ask yourself what makes you more happy and how you’d like to be. Allow your thoughts to be non-judgmental so you experience more happiness than pain.
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