Tip to reduce weight :
First turn your head to the right and then turn it to the left.Repeat the exercise everytime you are offered something to eat
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Every deep thinker is more afraid of
being understood than of being misunderstood.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
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When things that you used to miss
Doesn’t mean a thing for you now
You have to know that you healed
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Whites: ATM
Zulu’s: Mshini
Whites: Hair clipper
Zulu’s: Mshini
Whites: Washing machine
Zulu’s: Mshini
Whites: Pencil sharpener
Zulu’s: Mshini
Whites: A beautiful car
Zulu’s: Mshini
Whites: Jacob Zuma
Zulu’s: Mshini
Whites:Pussy
Zulu’s :Mshini
.
Kante yini vele !
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It’s Perfectly Legal To Kill Someone In Your Dreams,
That’s Why I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday.
Good Morning:-)
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Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence
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Hope is important because it can
make the present moment less difficult to bear.
If we believe that tomorrow will be better,
we can bear a hardship today.
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Give the world the best you have and
the best will come back to you.
– Madeline Bridges
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Date a guy who respects you as a woman. Date a guy who knows how to treat you like a lady. Date a guy who knows how sensitive you are.
Date a guy who doesn’t know how to raise his voice at you. Someone who doesn’t know how to hurt a woman like you because he’s a real man and he knows hurting women is wrong.
Lastly, date a man who makes genuine efforts to make you happy. You deserve a guy who makes you smile, not someone who makes you cry.
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A Drunk man is stopped by the Police around 1 AM & is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health.”
*Police:* Really….??? Sounds interesting… Who is giving that lecture at this time of night???
*Man replies*, “My wife!!!”
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*A man was walking naked in jungle. When the animals saw him, they all ran away*.
*The zebra then asked the lion, “even u, King of the jungle?”*
*The lion replied, “My friend, Keep jokes aside. That’s a strange animal. The Tail is in front*.
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A rapist entered a bedroom, tied up the husband and wife, kissed the wife’s ear and went to the bathroom… The husband said to the wife “satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love u” Wife said “he didn’t kiss me, he whispered in my ear dat he is gay, he needs vaseline and I told him it’s in the bathroom. So be strong, I love u too….
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*Project Manager* is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in just One month.
*Procurement manager* is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
*Operations Manager* is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month if she works harder.
*Marketing Manager* is a person who convinces anyone that he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman is available.
*Financial Budget* Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
* Planning and Technical Team* thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document the 9 months.
*Quality Manager/ Auditor* is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
*HR Manager* is a person who thinks that…even a Monkey can deliver a Human Baby – if given 9 Months.
*Customer* is the one who is absolutely clueless as to why he wants a baby….!!!!!
Dedicated for all corporate guys
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*I would like to assure the Nation that All the barmen are going to be safe and sound this Festive season. We’re only going to be targeting the beers around them. Otherwise enjoy your Christmas and New Year*
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Forget about electric shock , nothing shocks more than
touching your pocket and not feeling your phone.
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Have You Given God Praise??
It is not by mighty nor by power but by the Spirit of God.
God has allowed us to see the light of a new day, not because we deserve but because he loves us.
Many people have breathed their last breath last night and their bodies are waiting to be buried, some have been robbed of their health and have resulted in being hospitalized.
Do u still need anymore reason to exalt and praise God this morning? ??
Join me in this prayer of praise
Father in the name of Jesus,
I want to thank you for allowing me to see the light of a new day. Thank you for loving me and please forgive me of all my sins.
Invite you upon my life today and may your Spirit live in me today, helping me to read your word and stay connected in prayer.
Glory be to you forever in Jesus’ name I pray.
If you believe and have prayed with me just say AMEN
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