A Man Was Going In His Ferrari Suddenly Had An Accident.

The Car Was Totally Wrecked But Some How The Man Was Safe.

Policemen Arrives

Man Cried: “Officer, My Brand New Car.”

Officer: “You Are Such A Materialistic Sir, You Even Haven’t Notice That Your Left Arm Has Been Cut Off.”

Man Looks At His Left Arm And Yells: “Oh My God! My Rolex Watch.“

Dress Code For A Party Is “Black Ties Only“.

Santa Goes For The Party & Is Surprised To See That The Other Guests Are Wearing Suits Also.

Mom : go Wash The Fish That I Brought From The Market
Me : Woah WTF!!!!!
Mom : What That Means
Me : Where’s The Fish

Whether it’s Green, Red or Yellow…
It’ll always be Green Pepper To Me

One Day A Man Was Driving Fast, And He Got Pulled Over By A Police Officer.

Officer: “What’s Your Excuse For Going Over The Speed Limit?”

Man In Hurry: “I’m Sorry Officer, But It’s A Matter Of Life And Death”

Officer: “What Do You Mean”

Man: “You See Officer, There’s A Woman Waiting For My At My House And I Have To Go To Her”

Officer: “That’s Not A Death Matter”

Man: “It Will Be, If My Wife Gets There First“

How to survive January

1) date a taxi driver for free ride to work

2) attend each and every funeral in your hood for a free plate

3) borrow meat from your neighbours and make soup and take it back

4) stay away from broke girls or niggas even he/she is your xondile

5) use one teabags at least 3× before you throw it away

6) use a taxi to work and save petrol

7) mix water with sugar to make a drink

8) try to use prostitutes for sexual needs to avoid imali yekhanda and unnecessary use of money

First year Students at University of Amahlanya la engifunda khona, were receiving their first anatomy class, on the surgery table was a dead cow.

They gathered around the table. The professor started the class by telling them, ” in Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Vet doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.” For example
, The Professor stuck his finger in the anus of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth – “mhh… low on fibre” he said.

“Go ahead and do the same thing, “He told his students. The student freaked out, hesitant but went ahead and eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking it very disgusted but most murmuring the same conclusion, “yes… low on fibre”.

When everyone had finished, the professor looked at them and said “While I can’t fault you in your methods to diagnose low fibre, the second most important quality of a Vet Doctor is the power of observation, if you had observed carefully, I stuck in my middle finger and sucked my index finger. Now learn to pay attention otherwise you will eat a lot of crap in my class.

Make sure your friends pay attention today