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Trevor : “do you know how to make someone really curious?”

Ronnie : “no why?”

Trevor : “i will tell you tomorrow”



Teacher: I returned from work, opened my door and saw R50 billion💵 on my bed. Assuming u were in my shoes what wouldu do?😐

Rich: I will bite your toes until u faint😑. I will then come out from your shoes and take all the money💵

Teacher: Fool! You can’t be literally in my shoes🙅… That’s a figure of speech😉

Rich: You can’t literally open the door and see R50 billion on the bed✋ In this country’s economy😂… who will keep it there?😆😆…That’s a figure of impossible speech

Ringo: You were so drunk last night😂

Rich: No i wasn’t✋

Ringo: You called a taxi to take u home😆

Rich: yes so i will not be involved in a car accident right?😕

Ringo: 😂😂😂 the party was at your house u idiot

In a Shop

Ronnie : “sir can i have that thing over there?”

Cashier : “Cupcake?”

Ronnie : “ok Cupcake can i have that thing over there please…


May tatlong Bisaya namatay at pumunta sa langit.
Nakita nila si San Pedro sa pintuan

SAN PEDRO: Sorry pero bawal ang Bisaya dito sa langit. Patunayan niyo muna na di kayo Bisaya.

*kinausap ang unang Bisaya*

SAN PEDRO: Bisaya ka ba?
BISAYA 1: Hindi pu
*hindi nakapasok

*kinausap ang ikalawang Bisaya
SAN PEDRO: Bisaya ka ba?
BISAYA 2: Hindi po
SAN PEDRO: San ka nakatira?
BISAYA 2: Sa Antipulu
*hindi nakapasok

*kinausap ang ikatlong Bisaya

SAN PEDRO: Bisaya ka ba?
BISAYA 3: Hindi po
SAN PEDRO: San ka nakatira?
BISAYA 3: Sa Manila po
SAN PEDRO: Sige pwede ka pumasok dito sa langit

*habang papasok na ang pangatlong Bisaya, napasigaw siya sa saya
BISAYA 3: YISSSSS!

How Many Slices Of Bread Do You Eat?

Me ; 8


Izaga 1vs14
Nhlonipha abangan bomuntu wakho ngoba
ibona abaziyo ukuth yathandwa or Chabo


Yaz’ that KFC street wise 2 taste has
changed ever since it was advertised by
Distruction boyz isinale haiibo

Nobody cheats like a guy who
Doesn’t perform in bed.
He goes around broadcasting
His disability.
Aih suka man.

Sometimes You Have To Keep Your Feelings
Cause It’s Not Easy To Find Someone
Who’ll Understand Them…
– 😒😌😌


When working in a spaza gets into your head too much😐

When someone asks u your age your answer will be like “R18” bro


I have decided to sell my vacuum cleaner because
all it was doing was gathering dust.

John: boss payment
driver:saan from?
juan:galing left and hurt
driver:puta! is the truth?
I am the truth, BUT HE DOESN ‘ T BELIEVED 😢
driver:puta! Come down


LAKAS MAKABASAG NETO
Boy:hi miss,alam mo bang na love at first sight ako sayo😍
Girl:mamatay na ung nagtanong

YAYA AND ALAGA
Alaga: Look Yaya, boats!
Yaya: Dows are not boats, dey’re yatchts
Alaga:Yaya Spell Yatch
Yaya: Yor Rayt, Dey’re boats!

Dora the Explorer: C’mon bamonos! Everybody let’s go! Where are we going?
Boots: Treasure Island!
Dora: Where are we going?
Boots: Treasure Island!
Dora: Where are we going?
Boots: T*ng*na naman Dora, paulit ulit? Ano Dora, bobo na?! Uwi na lang tayo, put*!