U can have *** with a very beautiful and fine lady
for about 5 times but she won’t get pregnant.*
_
*Try an ugly one,just 1 round,u are already a father!!*
Sub Categories
If someone didn’t attend your funeral,
would you attend theirs?
A turkey was chatting with a bull, ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. ‘They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree where he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him down.
Moral of the story:
Bull sh!t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there…
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
“Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question.
“Isn’t it true that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”
“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
Judge collapsed.
WARNING
Beware of the airtime they sell these days, they have started marking airtime which can kill you when you recharging or make a call , so please before you recharge send those digits to me, so that I can verify if its original airtime.
PLEASE i want to save your life.
If numbers in Mathematics were given an opportunity to speak, I think some were going to accuse zero and one . Because any number that is multiplied by zero gives zero. Zero will bring down numbers to nothing. There are some people in life who are like number zero. If you associate with them no matter how great your value is they will bring you down to zero. How about one? Any number multiplied by one remains unchanged no matter how big it is. There are some people in life that are like one. No matter how they touch your life you remain the same. You don’t grow, you don’t improve, you remain at the same level. So here is the twist. What kind of person are you and who do you associate with? This year, I pray that God will separate us from everyone carrying the spirit of Zero (0) and One (1). I pray that God also helps us grow and be greater than 1 so that when we touch the lives of others, we will add value.
It’s beautiful when two strangers become best friends,
it’s terribly depressing when two best friends become strangers.
Never tell your problems to anyone…
20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don’t and
believe that everything happens for a reason.
Good Morning
I like to pretend that everything is alright.
Because when everybody else thinks you are fine,
sometimes you forget for a while that you’re not.
Never make permanant decisions on temporary feelings.
Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be.
Each of us has the power to give life meaning,
to make our time and our bodies and our
words into instruments of love and hope.
Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.
But why do we condemn girls for wanting rich guys??
even me if I was a girl I would’nt date my self!!
When you think she’s screaming because you’re
hitting it right kanti lutho iSpring sembhede syamhlaba
Rich on second day of marriage💏
–
He went to the make-up artist who did his wife’s bridal make-up and gave her a beautifully packed iPhone 8+ box as a gift🎁
–
The make-up artist opened the box with great happiness☺ but was suddenly depressed😔 to see a Nokia 3310 phone inside the iPhone 8+ carton
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Rich smiled and said: “same feeling i had when i saw my wife this morning”