A married man goes to confessional and
says to the priest, “Father, I had an affair
with a woman… almost.”
“What do you mean almost?” question the
priest.
“Well, we got undressed and rubbed
together, but then I stopped.”
“Rubbing together is the same as putting it
in,” explains the priest. “You’re not to go
near that woman again. Now, say five Hail
Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”
The man leaves confessional, says his
prayers, and then walks over to the poor
box. He pauses for a moment and then
decides to leave.
The priest quickly runs over to the man and
exclaims, “I saw that… you didn’t put any
money in the poor box!”
“Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like
you said, it’s the same as putting it in!”