I texted my ex-girl “Hi” she immediately updated her Facebook status:
“I’m doing fine without u”
And yet i wanted to say:
” I met your dad
in town wearing my jacket”
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I can’t take this long distance relationship anymore
– Fridge u are coming in my room now
Speaking on behalf of all ladies out there, guys stop giving us money 
we are not yo children 
Once she says “You’re my favorite couple”….just know she wants your man
Struuu bob