Her: babe I’m pregnant
capital: how could you change your name without telling me?
Her: babe I’m pregnant serious :
Capital: you even changed your surname
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When you accidentally say: “sweet dreams” to your diabetic
girlfriend..!
*Today, I deleted all the ugly people on my friend list… I almost deleted myself* 
I think i need a baby, I’m not motivated enough 
i need to do it for my son