CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end.

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

YAWN:
The only opportunity some married men
ever get to open their mouths.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the EIFFEL TOWER, says midway:
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterward.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills with pills and later with his bills.