A woman goes to her bank with a cheque from her husband.
The cashier tells her it has to be endorsed,
so she writes on the back, ‘My husband is a wonderful man

Why is someone who borrows money
but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Why cant Chinese couples have Caucasian babies?
Because two Wongs dont make a white!

New York was having a problem with too many pigeons in the city. The mayor of New York placed an ad asking for help to get rid of the pigeons in the city. A man responded to the ad. The man said that he would get rid of all of the pigeons in New York for $1million. He stated that he would stand behind his work and that he had very good credentials. There was only one stipulation, any questions that were asked would cost the city an additional $1million if answered. The mayor agreed to the terms. The man went to his car and brought back a small box. He opened the box and pulled out a pink pigeon. He released the pigeon into the air. Soon all of the pigeons in the city were following this pigeon. The pink pigeon lead all of the citys pigeons over the ocean and one by one the pigeons began to tire and fell into the ocean and died. The pink pigeon returned to its owner and was given a soft pat on the back and put back into the box. The mayor was totally amazed by this. The mayor complimented the man on his magnificent work. The mayor told the man that he had a question for him. The man reminded the mayor that any questions to be answered would cost an additional $1million. The mayor said that his question was worth the cost. The mayor asked the man if he happened to have any pink niggers.

A guy with bright blue, green and orange color hair was
standing at a bus stop.
Few moments later an elderly man stood near him and
kept staring at him hard.
Annoyed by the stares the guy asked him, “Wotz up oldie! Never done something wild?”
To this the old man replied,
“Yeah,I f*cked a peahen once and Im wondering if you are my son.”

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.
Then it dawned on me . . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”

“Dad, I dont want to go to school today.” said the boy.
“Why not, son?”
“Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week
and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day.
Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.” “But why dont you want to go today?”
“Because our English teacher died yesterday!”

The teacher is droning away in the classroom
when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row.
The teacher shouts to the sleeping students neighbor,
“Hey wake that student up!”
The neighbor yells back,
“You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”

Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
🤣